


Laughter Lines

by hisanik



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Blind!Eren, Erumin is super cute, Fluff and Angst, I'm working on so much fluffs right now, M/M, Reincarnation AU, Romance, everyone supports riren, hell yeah
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-28
Updated: 2014-11-10
Packaged: 2018-02-06 13:29:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 28,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1859745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hisanik/pseuds/hisanik
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In where Levi nearly drop himself on his knee, offering his first - and last - vow to Eren; to protect him, again. Because he could not do so the last time they met. Which was 2000 years ago.<br/>In where Eren can't see the truth. Because he simply can't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. To Meet, Again

**Author's Note:**

> Sup. This is my first fic to this fandom. I have no excuse.  
> Oh, English is not my first language (it's not even my second) so if you found some typo or grammatical error, please do tell me.  
> Enjoy.

_“Uh, Corporal?”_

_“What?”_

_“That’s, um, I mean, no, that’s not it, it’s just—.”_

_“Spit it out, kid. Don’t you dare to fucking stutter on me.”_

_“Y-yes, Sir!”_

_“So? What is it?”_

_“I like you sir.”_

_God, or someone, he should’ve seen that one coming._

_“I’m sorry, Sir.”_

_“Why?”_

_“Eh? Are you asking me why I apologizing or why I said I li—?”_

_Why_ now?

_“Why did you said such an unrelated matter now, of all times, when we are going out of the walls?”_

_Ah. His fault. Definitely his. He didn’t mean it that way. If the kid caught the implicit meaning in the question he’d understand why Levi said it that way. The hurt looking expression that came across him told Levi everything, though. That no, he didn’t. And yes, that look was making his heart clenched. But this was the best option he had._

_“I’m sorry.”_

_“That’s not the answer I want, isn’t that?”_

_“Yeah…Um, I think it’s because we’re going out of the wall.”_

_Yeah. Because out there, without the protection of the goddess—or whoever that men in white-black suit worshiped, there were too much possibilities of losing you. Yeah._

_“I’m sorry I said it.” Stop it. Just fucking stop this conversation, stop the carriage, the horse, the sound of smoke guns, the time._ Everything. _“It might be unrelated with the mission. I mean, it’s obviously not in the mission. But I personally think that’s not stupid one to say. If you think so that is."_

_He never said—he never thought it that way. Because he never found the courage to do so. Never._

_“I just want you to know—“_

_**“Jaeger.”** _

_“I like you, corporal. I like you very much.”_

_He shut his eyes and didn’t say anything._

_Keeping every surge and feeling under the surface. Forcing himself so hard to not pulled the horse rein in his hands and stopped and got off the saddle, possibly pulling Eren with him. And, maybe, he would hold him and looked into those beautiful eyes— But they can’t._

_Because the world was fucking unfair._

* * *

 

Today, 2014.

Ring. Ring.

“Wait, Erwin. Let me get this one.”

He put the paper he’d been holding and reached out a hand to the telephone next to him. He hesitated for a moment, and then instead of picking it up, he punched the loud speaker button. Why not? He was great at multitasking, he always was.

“Levi,” he said shortly, starting to pick up his abandoned paper, collecting it and ordering it neatly—

_“CORPORAL!”_

—And the hands stopped moving. He glanced at the telephone—the screen was glowing a dim green light, showing that it still connected to the caller, and then he glanced at Erwin, who sat across to him, and now arching his eyebrows curiously at him, and Levi couldn’t stop himself from tching and turned to the telephone.

“Connie, you shit.”

_“E-EH?”_

“I told you to stop calling me that, didn’t I?”

 _“Y-yes, Sir!”_ Levi sighed, he knew Erwin was snickering at him although he still had his glare on the phone. Stupid subordinate. He really should have argued with Erwin about accepting the worker. Past life and memories be damned.

He glanced at the telephone’s screen again and noticed something.

“Why my screen shows me this unknown number?” He wondered aloud.

The reply came fast. _“My battery’s dead, sir. And I didn’t bring any back ups or power banks, so.”_

“Do not call to the office with some random phones, you punk,” Levi said. “Even if you were in holiday—“

 _“I-I’m not, sir!”_ Connie shrieked.

“I thought it is a conference?” That was Erwin.

Whatever. It was never been his odd to make a good joke. Not that he intended to make it to be one.

“So what is it?”

 _“Eh—what?”_ The voice seemed unsure. _“Oh!”_

Another sigh. But then, even when Levi had waited for a good two—now three—minutes, Connie hadn’t said a thing. The shimmering light from the screen and the soft—and rather fast—sound of Connie’s breathing are the only clues that they were still connected. Levi tapped the telephone frame impatiently, as if the action could call out the other one.

“Oi,” he said. He cast a glance and threw his co-worker a look.

Erwin answered it with an arched eyebrow, and from experience, Levi learned that a single gesture could mean so much things at once. This time, it meant: I don’t know, Levi. Maybe he ran just now, and maybe it is raining there, or anything could possibly happen. But no, there is no way he does it merely for prank, not for you. So at least wait a little longer, do not end the call.

Levi glared. Now the paper works were abandoned. Are you fucking serious?

Another gracefully arched eyebrow: Look here—

_“Um.”_

—see?

“Connie, if you don’t speak a word until three. The police will never find your bo—.”

 _“I found him, sir.”_ No name mentioned. No need.

Thump.

 _Are you fucking sure?_ “What state are you in right now? Drunk in some strange city?”

 _“N-no, sir!”_ The worker replied, and then slowly continued. _“If I were drunk, I’d be singing on the pub table like Zac Efron, not calling you like this..sir.”_

Levi considered this for a moment, clicking his tongue. “You have a point.”

 _“So,”_ Connie said. _“I found him.”_

“Repeat.” The command sounded strain, and at the same time, shallow.

Connie repeated his sentence, and Levi heard the same composition of words. The voice was so soft, and unsure, but in the deafening silent room, Levi could hear it crystal clear. And he didn’t need to ask who was his subordinate talking about.

But still, he opened his mouth;

“Elaborate.” Desperate.

The command rung through the entire room. And so, the latter did. Levi had his focus locked to every words that came from the speaker, clinging to the very detail the information held. He never interrupted, he didn’t even saying anything at all. He just sat there, processing what he had heard, and still hearing, hands clenched and unclenched, memories came and gone. Breath held. Soul trembled.

He didn’t want to expect something this vague, but—please.

While he was listening, Erwin had someone on his phone.

“Levi,” he called.

Finally, Levi cut Connie mid-story, said to the worker that they would continue it, and turned to Erwin, so fast his neck would have snapped.“What?”

Erwin held out his hands in surrendering gesture, one was holding his cell phone. “Easy, corporal.” Levi glared dagger at him and the man snorted a short, but still amused, laugh. “I just want to ask you when will you go there.” He referred to the location Connie had mentioned.

It didn’t take a second for Levi to say, “I’m going to leave the office early.” He didn’t give any spaces to argue.

And Erwin knew it already. He smiled at his friend anxiousness and awkwardness in his amusing way.

“Glad I’ve booked you the next flight.”

* * *

 

Levi glared at the person sat across him.

“Why are you here?” He asked accusingly.

“Because one of my bestest friend is going to meet his one and only soul mate!”

“Erwin.”

“Don’t be like that, Levi,” said Erwin next to the woman. “We both know that Hanji was the only one who could pull some seats in the most critical moment we can imagine.”

“Tell me why we don’t use your private jet?”

“It broke since the last use because of the Katrina.”

“That fucking storm,” Levi cursed. He glanced at Hanji, who still looking at him with that look between giddy and overly happy gaze, she clasped her hands and just opened her mouth when Levi raised his hand. “Don’t talk to me, shitty glasses.”

The smile on Hanji’s face didn’t faltered, instead she turned to Erwin. “He is giddy,” she stated happily.

Levi scowled and focused on the plain grey landscape outside the plane. He just hoped that there’d no storm happens when he still in the plane, or better, when he arrived.

“As giddy he can be,” Erwin agreed, and Levi scowled deeper.

“Shut up, you two.”

Hanji said something to Erwin—or maybe at him? Not that he cared—and when he didn’t say a thing, the two started to talk between themselves. Levi only listened to it halfway before his focused went to something else entirely, out from the first class plane, higher than 2000 feet beneath the land, farther than his imagination could reach. Someplace even he didn’t dare to dream. He sighed a shivered breath.

In the whole 5 hours of flight, he didn’t close his eyes at all.

Even it was so vague it could only be a possibility, it was a very good dream, and he didn’t want to wake up from it.

That bastards were right. _He was giddy._

* * *

 

Levi almost afraid to step out from the plane. Afraid of ‘what if’s he’d been asking himself in the whole flight (what if Connie was drunk? What if his—and Erwin’s—were playing with his—and Erwin’s again—mind? What if he couldn’t find that person? What if—insert the scariest what if question here—?) Afraid of the seed that had been growing wild inside him in the 5 hours interval. Afraid it would explode and shattered his heart, feelings, if he hadn’t lost it some centuries ago.

Almost.

“Aah, my body feels stiff from sitting that long,” Hanji whined while stretching her sore muscles.

“Nobody asked you to come,” Levi muttered darkly.

Even if Hanji had heard it, she hidden it well. “So, where did he said he would be waiting for us?”

“Gate 32,” Levi answered curtly. Expression flat, head straight. And what the others couldn’t see: his thundering pulse as the steps he took.

He have not even near anywhere he expected, yet he felt his being would explode anytime soon. Good thing? Bad thing? He wasn’t sure.

They walked pass a couple of souvenir shops when Erwin spotted him, being the tallest he was, “There he is,” He said, gesturing the location with his chin.

Levi followed his direction and saw Connie—with his white shirt’s sleeves pulled up and coat draped on one hand—waving at them.

As the walked closer, Levi noticed that his subordinated was not alone. Next to him, stood a girl that looked strangely familiar to him. The girl was munching something that looked like a product from the crepes store behind them, her ponytail swinging as she chew. Realizing she was being stared at, the girl lifted her head, meeting Levi’s gaze. Levi would swear he saw a medium-sized chunk of the snack fell from that mouth when her lips formed a silent “OMIGOD.”

However, it took Levi until they right in front of their pick uppers when everything in Levi’s mind clicked.

“Braus,” he noted, unintentionally mouthing the past name of the girl in front of him. The effect was instant.

The girl quickly put the rest of her snack in her mouth and swallowed it whole it had to be hurt, before answering with a loud “SIR!”. Right hand clenched in front of her while the other was on her back. A form of an already extinct salute.

Levi froze, and beside the girl, Connie looked like someone just clapped loudly on his face.

“Sasha,” he scolded her. “I told you just now to not doing it!”

“Eh? Wha—did you—?”

“It’s okay.”

The two turned their heads and Levi realized he was the one who said that. He coughed and looked at Sasha, “You’re the one who lent this stupid punk a phone, I suppose.”

Sasha nodded, a little too fast. “Sir, Yes sir!”

Levi felt it, the gazes from the passer-bys, and scowled. There was a snort from his back (had to be Erwin’s) and a giggle (unsurprisingly Hanji’s) that pulled the girl attention from him. Her eyes widened at the two other figures she just noticed. “Oh, um, Commander Erwin, and Miss Hanji—“

Levi sighed. It always been like this since as long as he could remember. People who recognized them from the previous life saluting and yelling their responses in such a military way it never failed to turn people attention to them. Levi sighed even more at the memories. Levi could still hear Erwin amused tone as the man spoke, “Please drop the honorific, Miss Brauss. We’re not in the military anymore to be addressed in such way.”

“YES SIR!”

“And stop yelling.” This one was from Levi.

“YE— _s, sir._ ” The last part was whispered.

Levi nodded in satisfaction. Finally, he looked at Connie. “So,” He said. Only one word, and yet the latter understood the whole meaning of it.

“Let’s go to the car,” Connie said.

* * *

 

“Actually, it’s not like _I_ found him,” Connie started. “It’s actually some accident that Sasha and I met on the street. And then she told me things.”

“Oh, so you recognize each other soon after you feel the other’s presence?” Hanji excitedly asked, leaning her body between the front seat of Sasha mini van, so she could see Connie and Sasha’s faces.

“It’s hard not to,” Sasha admitted between munching an oat biscuit. Beside her, Connie nodded seriously.

“Exactly, especially when you bump the others with your massive forehead.” There was a loud screech when the wheels slipped and missed the road border by an inch.

“MY FOREHEAD IS NOT THAT WIDE!”

“LOOK AT THE ROAD STUPID!”

“So…you didn’t have that telepathy thing happened at all? All just mere coincidences?” Hanji sounded dejected somehow, and Levi snorted on the back seat.

“Yeah, at first I thought she won’t remember me, because all she did was nursing her cookies, but then she looked at me and started to cry,” Connie sighed, scratching the back side of his neck awkwardly.“From there I knew she remember me, too.”

Hanji humming in appreciation, “Well, I didn’t cry when I met Levi and Erwin,” she mused.

“I’m not sure myself, but the second I recognized him—I don’t know, the tears just flow.”

From his seat, Levi could see the tip of his ear went red as his subordinate poked the side of Sasha’s head. “You’re such a crybaby.”

“But maybe Levi would experience the same thing, wouldn’t he?” Hanji chirped, glancing at Levi from her shoulder.

Levi rolled his eyes, didn’t say anything, and at the same time didn’t believe at his own voice to not stuttering some stupid reply. He was too giddy for that. Instead, he looked at Erwin who sat beside him and asked, “How’s the office?”

Erwin, checking his smart phone for one more time before put it in his bag, answered, “It’s okay, I guess. We just left for a couple hours earlier. And no contract need to be signed too.”

Levi nodded and looked at the view from behind the window. They already reached a small city. Sasha’s and Connie’s banter were being a background song behind him. It’s funny how the young adult could sound so childish when they were being with another.

Thump.

Levi sighed a shivered breath, secretly touch a point on his neck where his pulse could be felt and felt it thumping loudly, anxiously. He leaned his forehead on the window, feeling the coolness spreading on his skin. He shut his eyes for the first time in the whole 6 hours.

_I miss you so much._

Levi smirked at his own words.

_So much it hurts._

* * *

 

_Because the world was fucking unfair._

_“Oi.”_

_No response._

_“OI.”_

_He heard shouting behind him._

_“WAKE UP.”_

_People rushed to every direction possible, bringing everything possible in their hands. Medicine, gas supply, body—_

_“…wake up.”_

_“Please.”_

_“Hey.”_

_“I can’t do this without you anymore.”_

_“We win. We finally win. You said you want to see the ocean right?”_

_“Come on. Let’s go there together.”_

_“Please, open your eyes.”_

_“Please please please, I’m sorry I left you. It’s my fault, all of it. So please, wake up. I’m sorry. So very sorry.”_

_“No, you can’t—STAY WITH ME—No, no. Eren Jaeger—“_

_“…Corporal?” He didn’t care it the hair was matted with blood—whose blood, he didn’t care either, he kissed his head, nuzzling it slowly in order to not moving the body too much. His breath was shaking, and so was his hands that circling the other person in his hold. But he didn’t care, because that person alive._

_“You’re safe. You’re safe. You’re with me. It’s okay. Okay. You’re okay. We’re okay.”_

_The rushed whispers came out too gentle and full of relief for his own liking but he couldn’t deny the small smile was worth anything._

* * *

 

Sunshine.

Levi stared at the name board.

So here it is, huh, he thought, glancing around. He felt a hand on his shoulder. “How’re you feeling?”

He looked up at Hanji. “I don’t know what should I feel,” he replied honestly. “Is that weird?”

The small smile on the veterinarian’s face this time was reassuring. “No, it’s not.”

“Hanji.”

“Yeah?” Said the bespectacled woman.

Levi didn’t say anything for a moment, taking his time to take a deep breath, before saying a soft. “Thank you.”

There was a cough behind them.

“You too, Erwin.”

“Oh, come on, I did nothing.”

* * *

 

When Levi entered the café, he found it more crowded than he had expected. He could hear people talking, some teenagers laughing at one corner, couples smiling at each other. He checked his watch, it wasn’t even diner time yet.

Sasha found them an empty table and they sat. As they did so , though, Levi couldn’t help it anymore, he started to sneak some peeks at every corner he could see from his seat, desperately trying to spot a certain person with messy brown hair, tan skin, glazing green orbs, and perhaps, a smile.

Unconsciously, he put a hand on his neck, feeling the hard pulse under his skin. Hope. After meeting Sasha, he had been feeling the hope inside him getting bigger and bigger. Asking to be acknowledged, begging to be fulfilled. It made him anxious, he almost never felt like this, this amount of anxiousness, it was the first. It made his pulse faster, made his eyes wandering, made him felt light-headed because of the doses. It was hope.

And he swore he almost exploded when their waiter came.

“Armin.” Erwin was the first to recognize him. They were close enough—war often brought them together, being strategists they had been—to Erwin called him his first name.

The boy was the same as Levi saw him the last time, which was 2000 years ago. He still kept his blonde hair in shoulder-length, his expression still as unsure as ever—but there was nobody who dares to guess what’s in his head, and his blue eyes still glowing with knowledge, and now, respect and amazement.

Just when Armin start to move, Levi brought his hand up. “Don’t. You. Dare. To. Fucking. Salute. Us. Arlert.”

The amazement in the boy’s eyes turned into confusion, and Levi snorted inwardly. Learning from the experience, they say.

“Um, I never expected to meet you here, Sir, Ma’am, ” the boy said, hands fiddling with the pen and menu papers. “But I guess you have a reason, yeah?” At this, Levi felt the boy glanced ay him. To confirm the implicit question, he stared back at those blue sky orbs.

Armin expression changed into a soft one and said, putting the menu papers on the table. “So, do you want something to eat or drink while you wait?”

The was a hopeful gasp came from his left—undeniably Sasha’s—and Hanji clapping happily “It’s on Erwin!” which followed by Erwin dry laugh (the man must had seen this coming but never expected it to be true)and loud squeals from Sasha.

They ordered—“Give me your best black tea” from Levi—and Armin walked back to the supposedly kitchen direction. Levi’s eyes followed the boy, not wanting to miss the chance to catch a glimpse of the person he had been looking for. But even after Armin’s back missing behind the door, Levi failed to see what he wanted. With a long sigh he flopped back to his chair.

Someone nudged his side.

“What?” That question came out more snappy than he thought. Not that he cared.

“Ooh, someone’s sulky here~” He shot Hanji a glare, unsurprisingly failed to shut the woman up, so he turned to Erwin and repeated his question.

The only answer he got from the man was a short word.

“Patience.”

Levi dived to the blue eyes disbelievingly, and was fully welcomed by understanding gaze and absolute calmness. He stared challengingly for some good moments before looking away with a rather childish huff. “He’s just so fucking close,” he muttered softly so only Erwin could hear.

The man did. But didn’t response to that.

Levi wanted to yank his hair so much until it hurts. Sure, Levi could totally spot the building frustration inside him. He had live this life for 36 years and never once, even in his wildest dream, he had hoped this much. And when the feast for his hunger just within his reach, just how could he not extend his arms?

His hands hurt because he clenched too strong, he unclenched it slowly and saw the angry nail marks on his palms.

Patience you funny eyebrows.

A soft thump on the table pulled him from his daze to….a brown-haired woman, with glazing green orbs. Who was putting their order on the table. Who looked so damn familiar with a slight of than tan skin. Who was offering him with that smile—

“Sorry for the wait,” she politely said. She regarded Levi a glance, and Levi only could stare back silently. Words are a foreign term to him. He didn’t want to know what expression he was wearing, because it should be comically hilarious.

Sasha seemed to be the only one who didn’t get affected by the woman’s presence. “It’s okay, thanks!” The girl said, then she turned to her right, where him, Erwin, and Hanji were sitting. “Anyway, from the right is Mr. Erwin, Miss Hanji, and Levi."

At the mention of his name, the woman looked at him and those eyes glinting in a way he didn’t dare to name. But then she smiled, beautifully and what Levi wanted was only to reach out.

_Thump._

“The Humanity’s strongest?”

A nod.

_Thump._

_Thump._

_Thump._

“I’m Carla,” She said. “Carla Jaeger.”

Oh.

..... **oh.**

Maybe she saw his mixed expression between confused, then realization, then gladness because she giggled. “Is this seat occupied?” Shake. “No?” Nod. “Is it okay if I sit here?” Nod. “Yeah?” Nod. “Thanks.”

Hanji was the first one who talked. “Carla Jaeger,” She said the name with a thoughtful tone. “If I were right. You were Eren’s mother, yes?”

Carla smiled. “Yes, I was. And I still am.”

An indescribable warmness rushed through Levi when he processed the idea.

Before he even realized it, his mouth already moving. “How is he?”

Despite of the anxiousness he sure the woman also realized it, Carla still looking at him with that same calm and kind expression. Fuck, that smile must be permanent. “He’s fine,” She said with an assuring tone. “Still energetic and stubborn as ever. Oh well, nothing changed much, I guess.” When she said that, she look at the window with fond expression, just for a moment though, because then her eyes were back at them and all Levi could see was the cheerful mother.

“Please,” she gestured to the food and beverages on the table. They were too surprised to touch the plates, because there’s none of them who had seen Eren’s mother in the past 2000 years. Except Sasha of course, Levi could see from the corner of his eyes the girl munching the food slowly as if she didn’t want to disturb them. This time he appreciated the girl manner.

He picked up his cup by the edge of its mouth and brought it to his lips. “They have good tea,” he noted, sipping his assam tea once more. After he had enough, he lowered the cup. “Mrs. Jaeger.”

“It’s Carla.”

“So,” Levi said, his voice urgent. “If I may ask. Where is he?” Even though he just had his tea, his mouth feels weird and his lips were dry. “Where is Eren?”

It was not possible to miss the mischievous glint in those eyes. And for a fraction of moment she looked like Erwin when the man just found a great strategy for their next mission. Ecstatic and full of secret.

Unconsciously, he sipped his tea again. He could clearly feel his pulse went faster than before.

“Right here.”

As if on cue, the door not too far from their table opened.

…The time stopped. And so was his pulse. He couldn’t feel it. He couldn’t breath at all. Let alone to move and to jump over the table because goddamn the three fucking walls; that person was _here_.

From his current spot, he could only see the back said, but it’s impossible to not feel the rush of familiarity the time his eyes caught that skin color, that messy hair, that height, that posture, that aura. _Everything._

He’s here.

The boy walked to the piano in the center of the room that Levi didn’t notice up until now. He also realized that now the room was silent. Everybody seemed to stop their activity to spend their time looking at the boy who now was swiping his finger on the edge of the piano, circling the black frame until he reached the seat behind it.

A sound of the key reached his ear and he focused on the boy again—not that he ever could tear his gaze away. Now that he already sat, Levi could see his facial better. It was also the time when Levi see that smile—

No.

“You don’t have to shut your mouths up, guys. I still can operating well with noises,” he said half serious and half jokingly, finger playing some notes on the piano, tuning the sound.

The customers laughed, but not Levi. Not when his breath hitched, for an entirely different reason from before.

No no no.

Thoughts buzzing in his head, making him light-headed.

This can not be happening. He reincarnated, right?

Then the pianist lifted his head at Levi’s direction. Levi swore for everything he had hoped that he didn’t recognize that eyes.

That dull, hollow eyes.

“My name is Eren Jaeger and I might not the best pianist ever. But I assure you, at least the music I’ll play wouldn’t blow your eardrums off.”

* * *

 

_“Eren, can you hear me?”_

_“Crystal, Corporal.” Cough. “Are we in my room?”_

_“Why?”_

_“It’s so dark in here. Can you please lit the candle over there. Shit. How could you even know that I’m awake anyway?”_

_“Eren.”_

_“Yeah? Corporal, please? I want to see you.”_

_“Eren, you’re in the infirmary.” A pause. “And the candles are lit.”_

* * *

 

“Enjoy.”


	2. To Comfort

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi chose to stay the way out of Eren's new life.  
> Eren forced Levi to eat his own words.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sup. I'm glad some of you like this story :]  
> I was going to update the story on Saturday but then I found out that I left my notes (which filled with the story, hand-writing version) at home and I just too lazy too remember what I've wrote (yeah you're free slap me).  
> Oh, I almost forgot: I'M IN URGENT NEED FOR BETA-READER!! Because I'm a pathetic little shit and currently in a dipshit thing called grammar, and I thought my vocabularies starts to be repetitive.
> 
> SO, if you will, message me and I WILL LOVE YOU TO TROST AND BACK :3  
> Enjoy.

How are you? –E

It’s been five days already. –E

**Give me few more days. –L**

**I’m trying to figure out something. –L**

Such as what? –E

**That’s what I’m trying to understand. –L**

Just…be careful, okay? ―E

**I know. ―L**

* * *

 

After Levi pulled on his shirt, pants and grabbed a coat from the hanger, he walked out from the hotel room he had spent the night in the previous days. Erwin was the first one who left, they were in their second day in the city, saying there are some issues that needed to be fixed. Levi told the man he would stay in the town. The man agreed and said that he’d call him when he was needed. Hanji left the day after that, after receiving an urgent call from the vet. Some nearly extinct animal gave birth to an nearly extinct animal or something. They promise they’d come back as soon as their issue settled.

He reached the main road and turned left at the corner.

Getting a room was a bitch. Not because they were fully booked—this town was never crowded to begin with, but more like because Levi would reject every hotels that failed to met his cleanness criteria (which ranged from “just” pristine to “super” pristine) the second he entered the building. Having another criteria that the hotels must be close enough so that he can go to Sunshine by foot didn’t make the quest easier at all.

After the sixth—seventh?—hotel, Levi finally agree that they spend the night there with much helps of Hanji’s whine (Levi, my legs hurts so much, why didn’t you accept Carla’s invitation to spend a night there?) and Erwin’s proposal (You get an acceptable room that close to Sunshine while I get a bed to rest my back. We know Hanji’s posture betrays her weigh.)

And so they booked a room. A ROOM. much to Levi’s dismay. He recalled the commotion they caused at the hotel lobby when Levi strong rejection met another Erwin’s proposal and more of Hanji’s whines. The other two said that they never got to do a sleep-over anymore, but Levi knew better that they were worried sick about him being alone. The said sleepover ended up with Levi taking up the couch because he refused to be sandwiched between Erwin and Hanji. Hanji slept like animal she cured and examined while Erwin slept like a log. And actually Levi never be a fan of sleeping together with other person.

Well, except one.

Levi watched white smoke came out from his mouth as he sighed. Twirling and circling until it faded under the cloudy sky. Levi watched the dark cloud hanging over him (the weather forecast said it would not rain today, but then again, it wasn’t once he found himself drenched like a welcome rug), inwardly making a mental note to never accept any idea of a trip with only those two as a company ever again.

But then deep down he had to admit that he appreciate the gesture.

 _If I was right, I remember that freckles girl works here_ , Levi thought when he passed a flower shop. He glanced at it and found Ymir was nursing some seeds in the pot, she didn’t notice him walking by.

In their quest in searching a “decent shelter to sleep in”, Levi found out that so many people from 2000 years ago lived or worked within the area.

Sasha Braus worked at a bakery that two blocks down from the café. Reiner Braun helped his family’s meat shop, next to it was the gym where Annie Leonhart worked as a yoga instructor. Mike opened a pet shop (for the first time in three lives Levi had live, maybe there was a possibility for Hanji to fall in love with mammal that was not animal). Historia worked as a part-timer at Sunshine—she preferred to be called Christa, and so was Armin. They all had similarities. They lived in the same town, rather close to one another. And all of them remember their past life.

 _What a fucking coincidence,_ Levi mussed with envy.

* * *

 

Levi was not angry. If he was feeling something, it was anything but that. And by anything he meant was the thing that he himself didn’t sure about.

**_What is he doing at this town?_ **

Eren played at Sunshine every evening. Levi always made sure he came before the boy came out from behind the door that connected to the apartment above the café. The second time he came to the place, Levi had already chose a table that would allow him to be the first one to see Eren when the boy walked out, and also got the best view of him when he plays.

But he didn’t call the boy’s name, or reach out and grabbed the hand he’d been dying to hold. He didn’t do anything to make the blind—Levi cringed at the word—boy acknowledge his presence. He just watch, and watching the boy he did.

Today he also came before Eren’s performance, and as a bonus, Mikasa Ackerman as a company.

“I’m Mikasa Jaeger in this life,” She said when he addressed her with her former last name.

“What, you married to Grisha’s baby brother or something?” He asked nonchalantly, sipping his Assam tea. Damn, he must be got attached with this beverage.

Mikasa looked at him with an are-you-serious look, before taking tip of her hair and showing it to him. “You see what this mean?”

“Your hair still as black as I remember.”

She let out an annoyed groan, much to Levi amusement, because in the past life he even couldn’t imagine this girl next to him making a joke or having another expression beside calm and rage. “The light is too dim,” she muttered.

“The lightning is just fine.”

She glared at him and Levi sipped his tea again, only to find it empty. Shit, this was his second cup already. When he put his cup, Mikasa shoved him her hair again. “Look closer.”

“Acke— _Jaeger_ , I don’t want to make out with your hair. So get that off my vision.”

Mikasa didn’t pay him a second. “Levi,” she said, she sounded like a mother telling her child. “This isn’t black anymore. It’s brown. Dark brown.”

“So?”

“I was born as a Jaeger,” she concluded it for him. Levi could make out the pride she had in her tone as she added, “I’m Eren’s sister.”

It was almost comical the way she managed to put so much pride with a cup of brag in her tone and still able to keep that face in neutral expression. Levi tried so hard to do the same. Now if he looked closely, it was true that Mikasa’s hair seemed a bit kind of dark brown, with a vague strikes of deep red, but the lack of light succeed to hide it well.

“You must felt so happy you could die,” he commented dryly. Hiding the fact that he was a little shocked, curious, but most of it was envy.

_Like a child would._

The girl shrugged. “Just ecstatic,” she said. “But back then they said I was more like super anxious than happy.”

“How so?”

“When I was finally able to form a complete sentence, the first one spoken by me was “where’s Eren?” and they knew that I remember. But actually Eren didn’t come out from Mom’s womb until I was 5.”

“Must be hard, princess.”

“I could say the same about you, midget,” she retorted. “I see two times of reincarnations couldn’t make your legs any longer.”

Out of the fact that they never succeeded end a proper conversation without insulting each other, Levi actually was glad he met the girl. How he couldn’t? She was the first one from the military who didn’t even think about saluting him when they met. Levi remembered days before he met her, he had to switch his “don’t-fuck-with-me“ aura to “do-not-salute-me-you-imbecile” aura whenever they came across someone from the past.

“Hold it down, young lady. I want to see a Persian cat, not a bulldog.”

“Even adult bulldog maybe is bigger than you.”

Their banter ended when the back door opened. Levi watched as Eren slowly closed the door behind him and turned around to walk to the piano direction. Eyes opened and face straight. Only now when Levi knew the truth the whole gesture suddenly didn’t seem like a part of the show, but merely an act of confidence, because every now and then Levi would catch him murmured something like “twelve” or “sixteen”. It was the time Levi realized that Eren was counting his steps. When the number reach twenty-one they boy would automatically reach out a hand. Levi had misunderstand it as a show of elegance, now it was a posture to prevent him bumping the piano. The hand sweeping the piano surface was to make sure he didn’t round it too far, and also to locate the stool. When he finally sat on it, once or twice, Levi would catch the smile of relieve.

It went well, the small smile said.

Levi hated what the gestures meant to him.

Levi hated himself that he understood the gestures really well.

Levi didn’t know what should he feel about the fucking fact that Eren was truly, undeniably, blind.

Levi didn’t know what to do.

**_What am I trying to do?_ **

“And he didn’t remember anything,” he said unconsciously, remembering the information Carla had given him a couple days before. Eyes locked to Eren’s expression behind the piano. Calm and content.

The good thing was the news didn’t break his hopes anymore, or worse, hearth. The kind of not good side was, it happened because he didn’t even have those two anymore.

“He didn’t remember and it sucks. I did remember and it’s sucker.”

Next to him, Mikasa muttering a soft agreement.

“What did you feel when you found out about it?” He asked, not loud enough to disturb the symphony the brunette’s making around them.

“About what? Life sucks or he didn’t remember sucks?”

“About your “little brother” lacks of good ol’ time memories.” Levi made a punctuation on the word “little brother.”

Good ol’ time. Hah. Even his joke sucked.

From the corner of his eyes, he could see Mikasa drew a shaky breath as the memories came back to her. “To be honest, I can’t say that I’m not disappointed, because that was the first thing I felt. I mean, everyone remembers, Carla, Grisha, Sasha, even Armin. So I thought It’s natural for me to think that he too would remember me. Us,” Somehow the girl didn’t look torn when she explained this to Levi, but the hint of sadness was visible in her tone. “You know? When I told him my name, he just smiled and repeated it as if I taught him how to talk. My name’s Mikasa. Hi, Mikasa. No big deal. But deep inside―”

She stopped abruptly, causing Levi turned from Eren to her out of curiosity. There’s nothing much to say but Levi could totally caught it that she was struggling with something by the way she cringed and furrowed her eyebrows. And there was rage for a moment before it changed into disappointment, and then the calm face Levi had used to see came back to the surface. Despite that, she sounded betrayed by herself as she added.

“But then again I couldn’t say, that I wasn’t feel the relief of the fact that he forgot.”

Because the pain for the one who held the memory was unbearable. Painfully so. Levi understand the fact that much. Not only once he found himself wondering that maybe the world would be a bit better if he had not known that the soil he had stepped on was a war zone, or a grave.

But he didn’t respond to Mikasa’s sentence and instead focusing on the pianist again.

The symphony now sounded like a cry of grief.

**So, what am I going to do?**

“How long are you going to stay?” He found himself opening his mouth again. “Heard from Carla you got accepted in some prestigious major in university.”

“I never think that Law is _that_ prestigious. More than because Armin and Dad―I mean Grisha told me that I should go to science faculty, and Eren suggested “why don’t you go for music?” and I realized that he’s the one who can play instruments, not me. And Carla said I could try to get into law, I mean I love something fair so I gave it a try,” Mikasa admitted, slipping some strands of hair behind her ear. “I got two months of holiday so I guess I’m going help here.”

Levi was humming his acknowledgement when Mikasa continued. “Mom told me you’ve been coming here since Tuesday.”

“So what if I’ve been?” He asked back.

“Nothing. Simply wondering what are you up to,” she answered, after a moment she elaborated the idea. “Because from what I’ve heard you haven’t done a thing.”

“What do you expect me to do, then?” What he himself expect him to do? (call the boy’s name, get into his already peaceful life, wandering into his happy, free-from-memory life?) The sentence felt bitter the second it left his tongue. He grunted as re recalled that he already finished his tea sometimes ago.

Maybe the girl didn’t know the answer either, or perhaps that was the pity he recognized from her gaze that held her back (because she didn’t understand it when she already got what she wished for. What was he wished for?). The same look he saw in the mirror this morning.

So it wasn’t unexpected that instead of answering the question, he heard her asked. “How long are you planning to stay?”

Or maybe it was true that they never could make a proper conversation. Not when both of them refused to answer the other’s question and keep trying to satisfy their own curiosity. And Levi was sure to make it stay the way it was.

He asked her to fill his cup. To his surprise, the girl complied with no question.

Really, he was glad he met Mikasa Jaeger.

The song came to an end when Levi saw Eren pulled a staccato to the keys, not the soft and long ones to end it like normal people would. But Levi still liked it nonetheless, because it _felt_ like Eren, rich with explosions and full with endearing surprises at the same time.

Levi felt a tug of nostalgic feeling that made his face warmed a little at the thought. But it lasted only then, because the next second the thread of nostalgia was switched into train of dread as he saw Mikasa now stood next to Eren, bending her body a little so she could whisper to the pianist. Her brother head tilted to the side he heard Mikasa voice came from. Levi was dead sure that the dark brown eye was looking at him all the while.

His throat felt dry and out of reflex he reached out to his cup, and was very glad to find it refilled with the warm liquid inside it. That bitch must had put the cup while Levi was focusing on her little baby brother.

On second fucking thought, he wasn’t happy he met the girl. AT ALL.

That, and Levi almost chocked on his tea when Eren turned his head to Levi’s direction, making Levi stared into those green sea. The very same one he’d seen back 2000 years ago, but at the same time completely different (it filled with more happiness, his mind said). He knew that Mikasa whispered the direction to Eren, but only heaven knew what else she said. Despite that, Levi couldn’t bring himself to care, not when Eren was looking at him, and smiled. The biggest and the warmest smile that the man had yearned for the last 2000 years, every single moment of his life.

His pulse fast under his skin and he automatically put a finger on the spot that felt the most, trying to keep it in check. The action was proved failed because instead of slowing down, the blood rushed faster than before and he fucking believed that one of his vessels snapped when that brat (his brat) opened those lips.

“Thanks for watching. Come again?”

Levi felt like crying.

**_So do you really expect me to squeeze into his life? When he definitely doesn’t need me now?_ **

* * *

 

You looked like crying back then. But you’re welcome. ―M

**How the hell you got my number, bitch? ―L**

Snatched it from Mom. ―M

**Car―**

Who got it from Hanji. ―M

**That bitch. ―L**

You didn’t call my mother a prostitute just now. ―M

**No, I didn’t. That’s for Hanji. ―L**

Oh. ―M

**What did you whisper to Eren the other day? ―L**

Oh, curious aren’t we? ―M

**Drop the sarcasm. That’s fucking creepy. ―L**

I know. I realized. I just said “two o’clock. Your die hard fan.” ―M

**Fuck you Ackerman. ―L**

It’s Jaeger. ―M

And really, you should see your face. ―M

**Shut up. ―L**

* * *

 

Eren was always more active when the café already closed. The teen would play the piano although the closing time passed long ago, playing a score that Levi started to recognize, or simply playing some tune while humming to himself. Some other time, Eren would walk around and eat whatever Carla left on the bar. Carla never flipped the chair to the table and Levi realized that it helped Eren moved around.

Eren was not always that smooth though. One or two times when Levi still stayed at the café passed the closing time (he asked Carla’s permission after she told him Eren’s night habit and the woman surprisingly easy to agree with the condition). Eren would miss a step or turned to fast or forgot his step-counting, they boy would tumbling a little, hands flapping, and Levi would grip the chair’s arms so strong to prevent him sprung out of it and run to the boy. But the boy never fell, he would lost his balance, of course, but the next moment he would have it back and stand up.

And Levi never felt so proud.

“Whoa, that was close,” Eren would mutter softly and Levi found himself smiling at the boy’s antics.

Tonight as usual, Levi stayed after the closing time, and Eren still playing the piano. Erwin had texted him, saying there’s this contract that need his opinion, Levi agreed to come home tomorrow half-heartedly, so Levi wanted to spent his last night with the brat who didn’t even know he was there.

(Mikasa had said that she thought Levi’s act watching her brother every day and night, literally, crept her out.)

And Levi found himself happy with just that. It’s enough (and at the same time it wasn’t at all), knowing that Eren was safe and sound, and happy, on top of it all. Although the need to protect the boy and be close to him didn’t go unnoticed, Levi felt content enough, and Erwin’s promise that he could visit Eren every weekend was more than enough.

A familiar tune caught Levi’s attention. He’s not a pop fan, he was more into 80’s and classic, but it was hard to not to, since every corner of the town seemed to agree to play a same song.

Nonetheless, he leaned back to his chair, silently watching the boy he had loved since forever.

_“Come on don’t say goodnight.”_

Does he always have this wonderful voice? Levi never heard him singing before.

_“With the stars in the sky.”_

Levi watched as the boy’s eyes opened and closed, lips forming the lyrics.

_“Let’s wait ‘till tomorrow, paint the sun across the night.”_

He found himself humming softly.

 _“I_ feel _love in your eyes.”_

The older realized fully that Eren changed the word “see”.

“And if you feel it in mine.”

In my dream, Eren. In my dream.

“Let’s wait ‘till tomorrow. Don’t say good, say good, please don’t say good― _cough_.”

Levi chuckled. I am so in love with you.

He watched Eren got off the stool and walked to the bar. After slowly swept his palm on the surface, he succeeded to locate the glass and the pitcher. He filled the glass up before it spilled, carefully so, but perfectly practiced. He walked back to the piano, now with a glass of water on one hand, the boy just about to sit on the leather stool, when a lightning stroked, and following right after, thunder.

Loud enough to cover the sound of glass meeting the floor and a gasp when Eren jumped.

And suddenly it’s like 2000 years ago.

* * *

 

_“So you said that he himself can’t cure his blindness.”_

_“It seems so―and the other bruises are also slower to heal than before.”_

_“Can you heal him?”_

_“The scars? Yeah. But Levi, the blindness is not caused by outer bleeding―”_

_“Let me rephrase the question; you can heal him, can’t you?”_

_“Levi―”_

_“This is just a fucking yes or no question!”_

_“…no.”_

_Levi felt like he’s going to cry or scream. Or probably the combination of the two. “Fuck this,” he spat, and then he dismissed Hanji and opened the door behind him._

_Eren was moved to one of the chamber instead of the dungeon, closer to Levi’s head quarter. The boy was sitting on his bed, staring blankly into nothingness. Not that those eyes could see anymore. Even from a far Eren’s green eyes were surrounded by red and puffs, an indication that he’d just cried for hours―no,_ days. _Levi might not fully understand the sadness, still being able to see and all. But he understood the reason of the tears that trickling down that face; the ironic fact that when the humanity gained the freedom, you―as the one who made it to be, lost yours. That was so fucking unfair it made Levi’s heart clenches uncomfortably so to the point it hurts._

_He didn’t realize that the path to the bed was not as clear as he thought and he only noticed it a millisecond too late as he accidentally kicked a can of alcohol. The sound it made was not that loud, not loud enough to make normal people starts. But Levi could clearly see Eren’s body went tense and his posture rigid. His eyes searching in the dark._

_“W-who’s there?” He stuttered, his voice full with the feel of insecurities and fear._

_And at the time Levi would do anything to wipe that off, even if he had to sacrifice his own vision._

_“It’s me.” Thank God his voice didn’t falter._

_Eren eye’s trained to the direction the boy believed Levi was standing. They didn’t disappoint him, only missing a couple of centimeters._

_“Corporal?”_

_“Yeah, I’m here.”_

_Eren reached out a hand and Levi could see the emotional struggle on the boy’s face as he did so. He hates to be weak even when his condition allowed him to be._

_Levi moved forward to the bed and grasped Eren’s hand in his own, intertwined their fingers. “I’m here,” he repeated it soothingly. Slowly, not to startle the soldier again, he got to the bed, until he was sitting beside Eren, hips and shoulder touching. “How are you feeling?”_

_Eren clearly was holding a dam of tears behind his lids as he spoke. “I-it’s dark in here.”_

_To comfort the younger, Levi brought Eren’s head to his shoulder (so you don’t have to stare into those pathetic, hollow eyes, his mind accused), and buried his finger in the hair, scratching the scalp the way he knew Eren always loved._

_“It’s okay. It’s gonna be okay,” he whispered to the locks. “Do you want me to call Mikasa or Armin?”_

_He hated to say that those two were better in cheering Eren up when he like this._

_The bundle of hair on his shoulder shook. “N-no, please stay here, sir,” he felt Eren’s finger twitched in his. “B-but if you have other work―”_

_Before the boy even managed to free from his embrace Levi quickly grasped the other hand and pulled it over his body so now Eren was one-hand hugging him. “Don’t be stupid.”_

_“S-sorry.”_

_Don’t be. Levi wanted to say, but he doubted that the sentence would sooth Eren’s mind. He chose to be silent and pat Eren’s hand._

_“Everything’s going to be okay, Eren.”_

_There’s a hand on his side, and nails biting into his skin, “But they said it’s impossible to heal.”_

_So Eren heard their conversation earlier, Levi bit back a curse._

_“Nothing is impossible, brat. You’re the one you taught me that.”_

* * *

 

Levi only stared as Eren slowly lowering his body, one hand sliding down the piano until he found the gap between its body and the floor. Then he crouched down there, bringing his legs to his chest and stayed there.

Another lightning stroke and one of Eren’s hand flying to his mouth, fighting back a whimper.

Fear. That was all Levi could see in Eren’s face. The happy-go-lucky boy in front of him was long gone. Under the piano right now was the boy Levi gave his life for eons ago.

And Levi acted it out, like he did when Eren scared.

Run to him. Grab his hand. Tell him that he’s safe.

Another whimper and that was Levi’s cue.

He approached the instrument and crouched, painfully slow. Pulse rushed with anticipating feeling as he reached his hand out, and touched Eren’s arm.

“Eren.”

He needed to tell the boy that he wasn’t alone.

“W-who’s there?” The boy asked, his posture erect, fingers clenched so hard Levi realized it trembling.

Levi couldn’t hide the bitter smile. _How nostalgic_.

“My name’s Levi.”

* * *

 

_How about you let me be your eyes, Eren? And I will never leave your side._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next update will be on Saturday, hopefully.


	3. To Choose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carla being a top-notch counselor.  
> And suddenly, Eren.  
> (with bonus Erumin, if you don't mind, because absolutely don't.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sup!   
> I had a great fun writing this chapter.   
> And thanks for the kudos! I'm super glad you guys like it :]  
> Enjoy.

Levi remembered how warm Eren’s body was back then when Titan still roaming freely on the ground. The nights they spent together in Levi’s room made sure of it. Eren never claimed himself as a cuddler, but in the morning Levi always found him snuggle on his side, close to him, head somehow tucked under the corporal’s chin. Levi never said it to Eren, but he rejoiced those moment the most.

Eren today was exactly as warm as Eren in his memory.

“I’m so sorry,” Carla said. “Mikasa and Grisha was out and I was in the bathroom when the lightning stroke.”

“It’s okay,” Levi replied, turning his head a little. “You okay?”

Eren didn’t answer for sometime, the boy still tried to balance himself with one hand draped on Levi’s shoulder, almost leaning to him completely, one of Levi’s arm on his waist. “I―I don’t think so,” he whispered, sounded ashamed. He let out a yelp when his legs gave out again.

“I got you, I got you,” Levi said as he caught Eren before the boy hit the floor. Now his arms circling Eren’s waist, aware of the warm feeling Eren’s body radiated. He could feel the boy trembling in his arms.

“Are you okay, Eren?” This time it was Carla.

His head still bowed when he answered. “I don’t think I could walk, Mom,” and continued with softer tone. “Sorry.”

Carla turned to Levi and the man caught the look she gave him. He nodded once and focused on Eren again. “Eren, can you put your hands around my neck?”

Eren visibly jerked when Levi called his name, but Levi didn’t said anything as Eren stuttered a “yeah” and did as he told.

Levi’s breath caught in his throat when Eren’s smell surrounded him fully. Back then Eren would smell like blood and sweat, now he smelled like flowers, like some artificial soap he used.

Somehow Levi came to like it in no time.

“Hang on tight,” he warned, felt fingers grasping his back shirt tighter. He bit back a smile.

After making sure one more time, Levi reached down a hand, grabbing a hold of Eren’s leg. He gave it a little jerk and suddenly he held Eren in bridal style.

Carla walked back to the door that lead upstairs, opening it for Levi.

“Comfy?” Levi asked as they climbed up the stairs.

The head on his shoulder nodded, brushing his cheek with the hair, and he found himself hummed contently. But the boy probably thought it was only recognition hum.

They reached the second floor quickly. As he stepped in, Levi found himself in a homey atmosphere. Sofa was right there, dining room to his left and hall on the right. There were frames with photos everywhere, and books. Carla walked pass him and head to the dining room. With bright lightning of the room, Levi could see that the woman’s hair was damp.

In his hold, Eren was squirming uncomfortably.

“Yes?” Levi asked.

“Um.” He must be imagining the blush on Eren’s cheek. “You could put me down now. On the sofa, if you don’t mind.”

Levi walked to the only sofa in the room, in front of the TV and slowly lowering Eren down. His hands lingered on Eren’s elbow a moment longer, half-heartedly releasing the boy from his hold. Eren squeaked a “thanks” when his hands recognized the sofa.

Levi still stood and watched silently as Eren bending over to reach down something below the coffee table in front of the sofa. His eyebrows knitted when he didn’t find it.

“Mom,” he called.

Carla appeared from the direction of dining room, now with a towel draped on her neck. “Eren?”

“Do you know where my stick is?”

“Wait a moment,” she walked across the room, to the hall and back with a walking stick. She let Eren had a firm grip to it before she let go. “I moved it the last time I cleaned. Since you hadn’t used it for sometime I thought that would be okay. Proved that I was wrong.”

“Thanks,” he said, slowly standing up. His legs wobbled but with the help of the walking stick he could stand up just fine. “I think I’m going to my room.”

Levi frowned and Carla looked worried. “You think you can manage it?”

But Eren already walked to the hall the time she finished her sentence. He waved his free hand. “I’ll call you when I can’t.” With that, he disappeared to the dim hall, with the tap of his stick.

Levi followed Carla back to the dining hall, keeping his silence until he heard the sound of door closing―despite of how loud the thunder was, the rain wan not really that hard. He finally asked.

“What was that?” His tone concerned.

Carla came out from the kitchen, now with two mugs in her hands. She handed him a mug. Hot chocolate.

“Sorry, I out off tea right now.”

“It’s okay.”

He waited until she sat on one of the chair around the dining table and following suit. After a sip, she answered. “He had this fear of loud sounds after he became blind.”

“But until he can’t stand?” Levi asked disbelievingly. He recalled the fear that grew inside him a moment ago. Eren practically dragged his body out from his shelter, body shaking and panic in his eyes. Levi sipped his hot chocolate to brush off the memory.

Eren in the past also had this fear. He always went tense whenever anything around him suddenly moved or there’re loud sounds when he hadn’t prepared himself for. And back in 2000 years ago, everything was worse. Titan, smoke gun, scream, earth quake. Eren literally was as stiff as a rock whenever he was awake. Mentally alarmed to the things he could not see anymore.

It was stressful for him and Levi understood it. Every night, Eren would fall asleep with trails of tears on the cheeks, leaving Levi to wipe it alone and succumbed in the feeling of uselessness because he only could hope that tomorrow the skin would free from tears.

It wouldn’t. And their hearts broke every time it happened.

“He’s my strong guy.”

Levi lifted his head to meet Carla’s stare. The mom had this look of proud and fond and _trusts_ in her eyes. It was so clear in the green orbs Levi felt like embarrassed, like the look was meant for him. “I don’t know about that,” he muttered slowly.

She was not the one who lived with Eren until his last days, Levi was.

“You don’t believe in him?” Carla asked, her tone wondering.

“ _I_ believe him, it’s just―” Levi drew a shaky breath before continued. “It’s just me who I don’t believe.”

Carla titled her head, silently asking him to continue. Suddenly Levi remembered about his mother in this life at home. She would look at him that way Carla did to him, like she would listen to everything he said and would not judge it. She sincerely just wanted him to open up to her.

It was weird, having this conversation with the mother of the boy he loved. It’s even weirder because the said boy didn’t remember it but the mother did.

“My first instinct was to protect him the time I found him,” Levi started, starring to the dark liquid stirring inside his cup. “When I found him like, like _this_ , it’s like my first blow.”

“That’s not your fault, Levi,” Carla said softly, soothingly. “You haven’t found him when it happened. It’s not your fault.”

It didn’t calm him even a little, but Carla’s tone did. “I can’t help but think of it that way, Carla,” he said. “The last time I screw something up, I screwed up _bad_.” Which one was bitterer? The chocolate or the reality? His tongue tasted weird.

“How are you feeling, Levi?”

Why everyone had been asking him that? Did he look that pitiful? “Lost.”

“You’re too harsh to yourself.”

“Like you’re one to talk,” He said, and then continued politely. “Please shut up.”

Carla laughed at that, filling the room with her echo. Levi looked at her, how her eyes closed when she laughed, how her lips curled into a smile, and the way she held up a hand in front of her mouth unconsciously. She was indeed beautiful, and _happy._ It was like she didn’t remember how her previous life was, as if she only lived this one.

And Levi could see Eren in her.

After a while, her laugh ceased, but there were still twinkles in her eyes. “You’re starring,” she noted.

Levi did not try to deny it. “I somehow understand why Eren could look so happy like that,” he mused. “You don’t give him reason to feel otherwise.”

“Yes, I do. He’s blind. He is allowed to be down,” she said. “But, _he_ ’s the one whochose to be happy.”

Levi didn’t say anything to that, simply sipping his hot chocolate.

Carla put his elbows on the table, propping up her head on his palms. “You know what?” She asked. “At first, I and Grisha were not supposed to be together in this life. I made sure of that.”

Confused, Levi stared at her questioningly.

“I was here, and I was dating someone the time he came from Canada, only to find me,” Carla smiled to herself nostalgically. “We both have our memory from the past. But even that still not enough to bring us together. I have my doubts because I knew what he’d done in the past, and because this man I was dating was a good man. It nearly took him 5 years to make me turn to him for the second time.”

Levi let the information sank in.

“What I mean is,” Carla continued, smile still plastered on her face. “I chose to believe him. I _chose_ him to make me happy. _I_ chose to be happy, Levi.”

“Why are you telling me this?”

“Because I want everyone to know that they have _choices_ to choose. We didn’t have it back then, but we do _now._ Don’t let the past you be the judge of your choice, because the one you are today is. If there’s choice to happiness, choose it. Because it’s all worth it.”

“But he doesn’t remember me anymore,” Levi stated. “He doesn’t need me anymore.”

“So what if he doesn’t?”

_Are you serious? Is the woman sitting across him now is the same one who claimed to be Eren’s mother?_

The disbelieving look must be clear on his eyes and Carla let out a chuckle. “This is your own choices to choose, Levi. Not mine, not Eren’s, not anyone. If you want to be happy, be happy. If you want to recognize you, catch his attention. If you want to be with him, be with him.”

“What about Eren?”

“I make sure I hammered the same believe into his thick skull, don’t worry.” Somehow she looked like Hanji for a second, minus the maniac grin. “My son may not be the bluntest person on the earth. But he’s so easy to read. If he doesn’t want you to be around, I guaranteed you’ll get the hint.”

Levi nodded absent-mindedly and looked into his cup. The puddle inside reflected his shadow. Levi saw a very tired looking man.

“We’re both guys,” he found himself saying.

“It doesn’t look like it bothered you before,” Carla countered.

“I’m 36 this year.”

“You really think too much.”

“Are you really his mother?”

“My womb was his home for 9 months. Yes, I’m his mother.”

If he was going to say something about this, it would be _overwhelming._ Everything he believed up until now, everything he thought he should do and shouldn’t, every matter of his entire life that he’d been so careful in keeping it together. He knew he sounded like Erwin. The Captain America was rubbing off him. But he couldn’t bring himself to reject the idea of how great it would be if everything goes right, because he understood the feeling when everything in his life fucks up a little too well. He had lived too many days to make a mistake.

Then, came Carla Jaeger, and she gave him these four magical words: don’t give a shit.

He’s not a corporal anymore, he understood it very much. In his third life he already came to term that he was not responsible for any lives anymore, this world was not in danger. He set his pace, he took a deep breath of relief, he lived a life he had been wanted. He was lonely, but even then he already lived with it for a long time.

And then, came her son, Eren Jaeger, and he was the wrecking ball to Levi’s life. Levi’s found his breath hitched every time he saw that bright smile, glowing when he heard his laugh, and almost to the point of crying whenever the urge to be together became too much.

If 2000 years ago Levi would be one of the reasons why Eren Jaeger died; now it was the total opposite.

“I’m…going to think about it.” He said it in one breath.

By this point Levi believed that Carla’s smile was eternal. “Take your time.”

Levi was walking to the kitchen to put his cup in the sink when Carla realized. “You’re going home already?”

With his back facing the world, he nodded. “No business colleague would stay in his partner’s house longer than necessary, you know,” he made quotation marks on the word _business college_. That was Carla had said to Eren when Levi’s brain were too mushy to think of any relationship title with him, or in this case, his mom.

“You know, I was surprise when you didn’t jump on my son the first time you saw him,” Carla chirped when she walked him out the building.

Levi shrugged. “I was more surprise when you approve me already, when even I haven’t made any moves towards your son.”

“I know you’ll treasure him,” she said, “because he matters.”

Levi could not deny the fact, so he just shrugged again. “I hope you were there.”

I hope you were there when Eren needed you the most, 2000 years back.

Carla smiled, in an apologetically way. “So did me, Levi. So did I.”

They arrived at the front door pretty quickly, and Levi didn’t forget to look at the windows in the second floor. Two windows, one with the lamps on, one did not. He had no idea which one was Eren’s but he asked anyway, “Will he be okay?”

“I’ve told you he’s my strong guy,” Carla replied. “I’m not saying that he’ll be immune to it, but he’ll get through it, eventually.”

“What if he won’t?”

“He has us to back him up.”

Levi liked it how she used the word “us”.

* * *

 

_“Corporal?”_

_“Hm?”_

_It was one of those nights where Levi would sleep in Eren’s room. The boy was blind for a month now. Levi was reading the reports he brought with him and Eren was lying on his side, his head on Levi’s shoulder._

_“Why wouldn’t you leave me back there?”_

_“Pardon?” He turned his head to the brunette, who’s his eye was directed to anything in front of him._

_Eren fisted his hand, and by now Levi knew that it was his nervous tick. The knuckles brushed over his shirtless chest as the boy fidgeted. “It must’ve been dangerous, right? I s-saw how many titans were there before I passed out.”_

_“Eren.”_

_“I haven’t asked you this because the coward I am,” the boy was on the verge of crying by the sound of his ragged breath. “What they did to you, corporal?”_

_“It’s okay. I’m healed.”_

_Eren didn’t say anything and Levi was sure it didn’t ease the boy’s mind at all._

_Levi sighed, put the papers away and turned his body to Eren. He looked into the eyes. Eyes that couldn’t stare back at him anymore. He pulled the boy closer to him, realizing that the green orbs now were a little wet because of the unshed tears. “Before I answer the question I’m going to let you know that you are the bravest soldier I’ve ever met. Don’t let anyone, even yourself, say otherwise.”_

_He received a nod._

_Levi only stared at Eren feature for a good time before he answered, silently hoping that the boy wouldn’t freaked out. “I got four broken ribs. Twelve stitches in total, in three different places, one blue eye―It were ridiculous I asked Hanji for a patch to cover it, two internal bleedings, and small fracture on the skull and almost got my pinky amputated.” His hand found Eren’s and gave it a comforting squeeze. Eren changed the position so their fingers intertwined. “But I’m fixed now so you shouldn’t worry anymore.”_

_“I’m sorry,” Eren whispered to him, the tears were staining his cheek. “I’m so sorry.”_

_Levi rushed forward, kissing away the tears before he moved to give the same treatment to the moving lips, drinking down the apologizes. Levi had enough of that from the boy._

_When he moved away, Eren was hiccupping. He looked worn and tired and extremely guilty._

_“Eren,” he said again, this time more slowly. He nuzzled their noses and touched Eren’s forehead with his “Eren.”_

_He needed a few more minutes, a bunch of sweet nothings, and a half-dozen of kisses to calm the boy down._

_“Hanji said it’s weird that I even healed,” Levi said after awhile. “She said maybe you are rubbing of me.”_

_This made Eren giggled and Levi’s heart bloomed at that._

_“That’s a good thing,” Eren said before let out a yawn._

_Levi hummed in confirmation. “Sleep, Eren.” He tucked the boys head under his chin._

_“Corporal,” Eren called, his voice sounded drowsy._

_“Yes?”_

_“Thank you.”_

_That was the first “thank you” Eren gave him throughout the month. After many sleepless nights, Levi felt like tonight he would sleep well._

* * *

Armin considered him a normal teenager. He had parents (different from his previous one but at least they loved him and he loved them just as much). He went to nearby college. He had job. He had friends. Yeah, he had a good life.

He was ringing up a lady who bought 3 set of books from same authors when the sound of the bell hanging by the door (yeah, the shop was _that_ old) caught his attention. It followed by a voice he was too familiar with.

“Well, that’s kind of nostalgic sound you have here.”

The only thing abnormal in this life he had been living for 19 years was the way his heart went “ba-dump” anytime he saw _him_. Tall, blonde, nice built, streaking blue eyes, charming smile, gentle vo―

“Oh, hey, Armin! I don’t know you work here.”

Erwin Smith was walking toward the counter when the boy found his voice. “Y-yeah. I take part-time at here too, besides Sunshine. Um,” he gulped, his throat suddenly felt dry. “When did you arrive?”

The ex-commander smiled and Armin heart fluttered shamelessly, “This noon. Levi wanted to see Eren faster so we left the office as soon as the works are done.”

“Oh.” _A topic. A topic. A topic._ Armin never felt this stupid in his entire life. EVER. And now his mind went blank with a mere glance from his ex-strategist partner. _This is so not happening to me_. “What are you looking for, sir?”

Erwin hummed, scanning the whole room. To be honest, the room is not that big, it’s only a few squares, filled with old wood shelves that would creak whenever Armin put a new old book or tried to organize it.

“I was walking around the town and spotted this antique book shop and I thought to add one of the books to my collection,” Erwin explained, and then he turned to Armin. One of his eyebrow arched and eyes bore to where Armin stood. “Any recommendation?”

“You still do it?” Armin asked, suddenly the butterflies flew away and he felt his smile got bigger. He remembered back then Erwin always spared some of his time to wander to the only bookshop in the town every time he got free time. Once or twice he would ask Armin to come around. “I-I don’t know whether if I had this book already or not but―” He came out from the counter and walked fast through the racks.

He excitedly ran his pointer over book titles, rambling whatever crossed his mind. He didn’t hear the foot steps from behind him at all. When he found the book―an old and fragile-looking Chinese history record that had been translated, he turned quickly…only to bump to someone’s chest. He looked up and saw Erwin looking down at him.

“Have you found it?” The man asked; his tone gentle and amused at the same time.

The butterflies came back.

“Y-yeah,” he replied. Feeling too close, Armin took a little step back and instantly hit the racks. Shoot. “This is what I’ve been talking about.” He handed the book to the man.

Erwin flipped the book open, scanning it with his sky blue orbs. Armin looked into the eyes, amazed by the way it would shine whenever he found something interesting. Looking at it now brought back the memories when they were just a commander and strategist. They would stay in a room for a very long time, looking over an unfinished map, diagrams of troops, surrounded by chalks and its dust. But after a while the activity shifted from something formal and stiff into a more relaxing and friendly atmosphere. They still talked about strategies a lot, but this time they also talked about their subjective opinion. Armin told him about the ocean, about his grandpa, and Eren and Mikasa. Erwin, in return, would tell him the jokes from inside the recon that nobody dares to pick on; Levi’s hobby to slack off only to be found looking at Eren’s training secretively, Hanji’s antics to picking her nose when she’s bored, and so on.

It was a good time, Armin thought.

“Is there something on my face?”

The question snapped the boy’s attention to the older blonde. “Huh?”

Erwin’s eyes still glued to the book, “You’ve been starring at my face for awhile now. Is there something on it?”

Armin stammered for a better excuse than “I just thought that the time we’ve spent together were quite nice”, and at one point, he realized that Erwin haven’t moved a single inch from where he had stood before, if anything, Armin felt that the gap between them became narrower.

Poop, why Erwin smells so good?

In the end Armin couldn’t come up with a complete sentence (he slapped his mind hard for that), and ended up with a meekly “excuse me” that sounded like a whimper even to his ears.

Erwin didn’t comment on it, though. The man step back casually, muttering something like “oh I think I saw something good in this section”, leaving Armin dashed back to his shelter. The time he reached the counter, the front door jingled and Armin never felt so grateful in his life for the distraction.

He talked with the customer―an old lady with a wide hat, and said he would be back in a minute with the book she wanted. When he came back from the storeroom he found Erwin already chatting with the woman. They had so much to talk about it looked like they’ve known each other for a long time, which Armin doubted it.

He rang up the book and the woman left. It was only him and Erwin once again.

“So,” Armin said, only for the sake of breaking the silence. “Do you find anything?”

Erwin put two books on the counter. The new one was an Ancient German Philosophy book with leather cover. Out of habit, after he rung it he asked to his customer of the moment. “Anything else?”

To his surprise Erwin reached to his back pocket and pulled a piece of paper. Armin stared at it with wonder until Erwin put it on the counter. He took it slowly, and―

 _And_ Erwin lied to him. There’s no way a person would prepared a paper with his personal phone number attached to it only to give it to someone he didn’t know he would meet by _accident._

By the hint of sheepish smile on Erwin’s face, he knew Armin had his tactic figured out.

He slipped the paper to his jeans’ pocket, saying “wait” to Erwin and stormed to the storeroom behind the bookshop.

There, he found Alex, a part-timer just like him, was sorting the books. Without thinking he grabbed his shoulder. “Alexcan’tIleavetheshopearlytoday?”

“What?”

Armin put a hand on his knees, wheezing and out of breath. “Can’t I― _wheeze―_ leave the store―cough―early today?”

Alex was patting Armin’s back, waiting until his breath back to normal before saying, “Yeah, sure. I still owe you one night shift back then when I―”

“Thank you!” Armin stopped to listen from “yeah”. He stormed back to the shop, Finding Erwin still stood in front of the counter. The man looked at Armin when the boy arrived.

Armin put a hand on his back of the next as he said, “Um. My shift apparently will be over in 5 minutes, so I…”

He didn’t need to finish his sentence. From the smile on Erwin’s face, Armin knew the man had his guess right.

"Is it alright if I asked you for a walk?"

"Yes, sir."

Welcome back, butterflies.

* * *

 

Erwin was indeed a man of his word. This was one of the times Levi felt grateful he had a friend with a private jet. He worked his ass off in 5 days span, finishing projects far before the deadlines, and cramming his mouth because apparently clients loved to hear his critics. Happy clients meant faster works. Levi never worked this hard in this life.

He was sitting on his usual table, just finished watching Eren’s performance of the day. He watched as the boy walked swiftly through the evening crowd and entered the kitchen.

After he talked to Carla the previous week, he came home and thought about the conversation he had with the woman. Part of him still felt the doubt, though. He was honestly afraid to screw things up this time. For total four lives he had lived, he only met Eren _twice_. The first time was bad enough; he didn’t want to repeat it again.

But how?

Levi slide his phone lock open, noting that it was 7 already. Erwin should have come back 15 minutes ago. He typed a short text to the man and sent it. He was typing back to Hanji’s message (LEVII HOW DARE YOU TO LEAVE ME HEREE?!) when he heard a soft thud on the table.

Someone had put a lava cake on his table.

“Excuse me,” he said, looking up. “I didn’t order―”

His didn’t finish his sentence―couldn’t, because at that time his eyes caught Eren feature, and fuck if the boy stood so close to chair. Eren’s head turned to where Levi’s voice came from, his fingers fiddled with each other.

“It’s on the house, actually,” he said. “Mom said so.”

Levi could only manage a soft “oh”. He looked down to the fresh-from-the-oven product. “Say my thanks to Carla later.”

He never was a fan of something sweet, but if that means he had a reason to talk to Eren, Carla should’ve made this a dozen more.

“Do you mind if I seat here?” Suddenly, Eren asked, pointing a chair across from Levi’s.

It was Erwin’s seat, to be honest. “No.”

Eren nodded as he slowly used his hands to find the armchair before lowering him self to sit. “Do you not want it?” He asked, referring to the cake.

Levi realized he hadn’t touched the house gift yet. He picked up the spoon and dug in. “How did you know I haven’t eat it?” Levi wondered aloud after the first bite.

Eren gave him a small smile (Levi heart went “kyuun” at that but he wouldn’t say it) and scratch the back of his head. “I didn’t hear the sound of the spoon,” he admitted. “You are, uhh…”

“Levi,” the man completed the sentence for him.

“Yeah, Levi,” Eren said, softly. Like he only said it to have a reason to try the name on his lips (Levi, stop it). “You were the one from last week, right?”

“You’re right,” Levi said. “I’m sorry if I scarred you that time.”

Eren quickly hold up his hand, waving it to stress his mean. “Nonono, that’s not what I mean. It’s just the thunder that caught me off guard, and…”

Eren kept rambling and Levi would be lying if he said that wasn’t cute.

“…I actually came here to say thank you.”

Levi stared at Eren, who was starring at Levi’s throat. He sighed then leaned back to the chair, enjoying the chance to watch Eren from close. The boy’s hair was a mess, as usual. Levi smiled at the endearing feature in front of him. “It’s okay,” he said.

Eren’s posture became relax after that. This small gesture told Levi a thing: Eren was as nervous as him. Somehow it made him relax too.

“You stop eating.”

Levi eyebrows arched. He picked up his spoon and tapped it to the plate, making a soft clicking sound. His eyes locked to Eren all the while.

The boy wrinkled his nose. “I know the difference, you know,” he pouted; however there was a small smile on his lips.

“Tch.”

Eren laughed, loud and full of joy. It was so sudden it completely caught Levi off guard. The man could only stare and feed the greed as well as desire he thought only remained in the back of his mind.

Eren had magically lifted up the tension between them.

The brunette ended his laugh with a laugh, using his knuckle to wipe the unseen tears on the corner of his eyes. “So, mom’s business colleague, huh?”

Levi was munching the cake when Eren asked him. “Huh?”

The smile still evident on the younger’s face. “That’s why you came that night, right?” He inquired. “Because you had things to talk with Carla.”

 _If what you mean by thing is you, then yeah, I had things to discuss with your mom._ “Yep.”

“But I didn’t hear you came in at all?” Eren wondered, his head tilted to the side. “Do you have cat paws under your feet?”

 _Will you just stop from being cute? And of course you didn’t hear me, I practically stalking you all day._ “I entered from the back door at the same time the thunder happened. Maybe that’s why.”

“Oh,” Eren muttered as realization dawned on him. Levi watched as frown begun to form between Eren’s brows, he swore he also saw blush on the tan cheeks. “ _Oh_.”

“What?” Levi asked.

“Nothing,” the brunette replied, but his tone told Levi the otherwise. He thought Eren would not elaborate further. He was wrong. “It’s just really embarrassing that you found me in that kind of state.”

Levi put his spoon down. The sound started the boy in front of him. “Don’t think so low of me,” he said, didn’t realize that his voice became low and stern. “I won’t judge you just because of that one time. You did nothing wrong so stop thinks that way.”

Because Levi couldn’t take it if the boy kept thinking that he was different. Eren might be subtle about it, but Levi had spent his entire live watching the boy did the very same thing to himself, if not worse.

His sentence made Eren fell silent. For a moment Levi was afraid he crossed the line, in the short span of time he had prepared many exit-route―

But then Eren smiled at him, and Levi heart begun to swell for God knows how many times already. If Eren could actually see through those eyes, Levi sure the brunette would look at him with that look of unsure but trusting.

Levi realized that he wanted Eren to trust him again. Like the boy did 2000 years ago.

He wanted Eren to be happy. He wanted Eren to trust _Levi_ to make him happy.

“Thanks, Levi.”

That was his definition of happiness. And he would absolutely do anything to make it happen.

* * *

 

**Can I just stay here for the rest of my life? ―L**

I’d love to, Levi. Really. ―E

But Hanji threatened to bomb the office if we don’t come back by the morning. ―E

**And where the hell are you? ―L**

Um. ―E

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NEXT UPDATE WILL BE ON SATURDAY <3  
> Levi being a confused as a teenager when in reality his age is just like Carla's is kinda cute.  
> And ErwinxArmin duo is sooo much fun to write. This is the first time I write them. What do you think? Did I write them right?


	4. To Know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren The Keeper. And the prototype of stubborn teenager.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sup?  
> I'M SO SORRY IT'S NOT EXACTLY "THE NEXT SATURDAY" SO I UPDATE IT EARLY BEFORE "THE NEXT" SATURDAY IT'S KINDA CONFUSING SORRY.   
> ENJOY TT_TT  
> I'm sorry again.

Eren never felt the regret of living his pitch black world.

Lonely? Yes, a lot of times. He often found himself missing the light and colors and his family’s face. Blindness was not a thing he earned from birth, it was a long time after that he could only felt the warmth of the sunlight from his finger tips but not seeing it. So he still remembered things he had seen years before.

Afraid? Once or trice. He lived in his own dark universe for years now, and it has been a very long time since he stopped hoping to see a point of light. Thank God he wasn’t afraid of dark. The only thing he was scared of was forgetting. What if one time he woke up and couldn’t picturing his parents’ face? Mikasa? Armin? And his friends who lived nearby? The best news was, he could hear their voices just fine, and still be able to touch them. That was a pretty big thing he had there.

But regret? Never. He might have things that he had lost the time he opened his eyes and only saw dark― _Mom, how can I play piano from now on? Dad, what about my study? Mikasa, what if I slipped? Armin? Everyone? I AM blind. What should I do?_ , and he might felt the anger toward everything on the earth that time. He recalled that his anger nearly uncontrollable (and anger management was never his thing to begin with), even so, he got though it.

He never let himself to feel the regret. Sometimes you had to loose something big before you got something bigger. He couldn’t say it was easy, because it totally was not. But man, he had been blind for years now, he had met the point where he learnt to just _let go_ and _move on_.

And accept new good things around him.

“This is Canon in D.”

“Are you fucking serious?”

“Language!” Someone from his far left screamed.

“She’s right. _Language_.”

“Whatever,” sighed the person with lazy, low voice. Not really familiar, but somehow he started to get used to it. “I listened to that song every time, so I’m sure this is not that one. And, please, you’re not the one who favors classic, young lady.”

“So you said that you do? Really?”

“That―that’s not what I was implying. Why are we talking about this again? The thing is you got the song wrong.”

“Uh-h _uuuuu_ h. So tell me, Mozart, what song my baby brother―”

“Mikasa! You’re not calling me _that!”_

“―is playing right now?”

There was a beat of pause before the other speaker spoke up. “Rachmaninoff.”

“ _Levi_ , _please_. Do you take me as a fool? Eren had played it many times and I bet my holiday saving that this is _not_ Rachmaninoff.” Mikasa sounded exasperated. Eren’s brows arched at that. He’d known his sister as a person who won’t loose her calm over something that trivial.

“How can you be that sure?”

And now she was debating―and was that joking tone he caught in her voice?―with someone they barely knew for a month. And there they were, arguing over the song Eren was playing.

“Because, thanks to Eren, I’ve heard soo many song scores that maybe I could list a shop’s classical songs in a minute.”

“You said that but you dared to exclaim that this is Canon in D?” The other person countered. “ _How could you_?”

Oh, right. Speaking of _the other person_. Levi had been coming to the café every weekend for three weeks now. From what Eren had heard, he was a cool guy, her mother business colleague was. He was polite, even when his vocabularies are too colorful for his mom’s liking. His jokes sounded like a rude remarks but held a humor behind it if you don’t take it personally. He was friendly enough even from what Eren felt the man didn’t want to admit it. He was brave because he could stand Mikasa, her sister was not an open book, and tended to have walls around her.

“I was going to give up, but seeing you right now somehow the act would only pisses me off.”

And fuck if he didn’t respect the man. He couldn’t clearly put his hand on it but he was certain that by the way he spoke to Eren and treated him, the man saw him as an equal human being. Not a handicapped teen.

“That’s stupid.”

In short, Eren believed that Levi was a good person in a short time since he knew him.

“Guys, chill off,” Eren called from his seat behind the piano, his finger still hot on the keys. He heard the bickering ended eventually and he continued. “Sorry to ruin the fun but this is Granrodeo’s Can Do. How could you not know Kuroko No Basuke? All of my friends practically go gaga over it.”

“Eren,” Levi’s voice sounded so unsure Eren couldn’t help but smirked. “You watch anime?”

Eren rolled his eyes. “It’s not like I _watch_ it,” he said casually, he knew the man didn’t mean to offend him. “But sometime they have soundtracks that once it entered your ears, you just can’t get it out your mind. And there’s one song―I’m not really sure what the show called―but this is really cool and I tried to make the piano version.” His fingers started to hip-hopping on the keys for the second time. “If I was right the title is Guren No Yumiya…or something like that?”

Levi and Mikasa stopped to listen to the music. It was one of the times when the café got nearly empty. From what his ears caught, there were only some tables that occupied. In this time usually he allowed himself to play and experiment the kind of music he currently interested in. Thank God he always play good and no customer ever protested.

“It’s…pretty intense,” commented Mikasa. “I wonder what the show’s about. Maybe I’m going to watch it.”

From the same side where Mikasa voice came from―Eren supposed they sat on the same table, he heard Levi sighed. “Nah. I’m not really into two dimensional characters. But you’re right, this is good.”

Eren smiled although he knew they were commenting the song, not his play.

The first thing that Eren realized after being verdict as blind man was the fact that when his eyes could not see anymore, his fingers could. Maybe it was just the body memory of playing for years, but he only needed to touch a key, listened to the sound it made, the next thing was suddenly he knew where the key’s position was and where he was standing. It’s just happened.

That was his _first_ miracle. And without him noticing, the other followed.

_Life is good when you admit that it is good._

Damn, Reiner would have laughed in his― _embarrassing―_ fatherly way if he heard Eren said that.

“Oh, Levi. You can play piano, can’t you?”

Eren’s interest perked up at Mikasa’s tweet.

“Wha―? No. What _the fuck_ are you blabbering about, Mikasa?” Levi surely took his lessons. He whispered the swearword so Carla who stood behind the bar wouldn’t hear it.

“Oh, come on. I’m sure you told me at one point somewhere.” Eren could hear the roll eyes in Mikasa’s voice.

“Maybe you should pay the doctor a visit. You clearly have―”

“Can you, Levi?” Eren found himself asking. His fingers movement ended as he turned his head to the sound source of the two.

A sigh. “No, Eren.”

Eren could not hide the disappointment in his “oh.” He just thought it would be fun to have someone to play with him. Even if he loved to do it, listening to his play everyday for years could be boring.

“But it wouldn’t hurt to learn, I guess,” Levi’s sudden decision made Eren whipped his head fast to the source sound.

“Really?” _Whoa, too eager there, Jaeger._

Levi didn’t answer. Despite the lack of the response, Eren could feel the footfall approaching to where he sat and also the “thump-thump” feels under his soles of feet. Eren scooted a little so Levi could seat beside him.

Eren felt the side of the seat dipped when Levi sat. His nose caught the mild smell of his mother’s black tea. He didn’t know why, but he smiled a little.

“I give you an advice, Eren.” Levi’s voice sounded close to him. “Don’t put too much faith in me. I never played any instruments before.”

“He’s just trying to be humble, Eren,” Mikasa said from her seat.

From his position right now, Eren could hear Levi seething with anger. “Go to hell, _Ackerman_.”

Huh? _Ackerman_?

Mikasa seemed like she didn’t hear the name―it must be a _name_ , right? Instead she just waved it off casually. “Had already gone and came back couples of times.”

She didn’t say anything about the name, so Eren decided to let it slide.

If anything Eren was curious about Levi’s relations to his family, it was that the man heard (because he can’t “ _looked”_ ) like he had known Eren’s family members for a long time. Eren often caught him and his mom threw snarky remarks at each other like an old friend. It was supposed to be normal since they were business partner and all. Levi also talked about the past with his father just fine (when Grisha didn’t have any weekend emergency call that is, which was not often but not that rare), the past that Eren couldn’t even remember. Levi and Grisha would say “that time” or “I remember when” a lot and Eren would left out to guessing about “which time” exactly those two were talking about.

And Mikasa. The weirdest was that Levi just came to the town a few weeks ago, and introduced to Eren about two weeks later. Is it normal that Mikasa was closer to Levi than him to the man? They met Levi around the same time; shouldn’t Mikasa and Levi be like Eren and Levi? Kind of awkward but still friendly relationship.

Aww, is that jealousy I heard, Eren?

Eww. No, it’s called curiosity, Eren.

Snap snap. “Brat, don’t go to other world on me now.”

It successfully cut off Eren’s thought. The boy realized Levi must have snapped his fingers in front of his face.

Eren didn’t even comment on the nickname “brat” as he stammered an “um, sorry,” there’s something in the tone whenever Levi called him by that name, like a father calling his daughter “sleepy-head”; no meaning to insult, just an endearing pet name.

_Wait. What. That’s not supposed to be endear―_

“There you go again,” Levi said, sounded bored. “Is everything okay?” Eren immediately caught the concern tone.

Eren nodded. “Yeah, I’m good.” Everyone he knew had been asking that since he was blind. He didn’t hate it, it’s just that after sometimes he got tired of hearing it and got guilty making people worrying over him. In three weeks he already mastered the art of “waving it off”.

“You ready?” Eren asked as he cracked his finger like a pro―and he considered himself as one, before pulling the first note experimentally. A “la”. He frowned, that’s not the tone he wanted. He successfully got a “do” on his second try.

“So this is ‘do,’” he pulled the same note again. “And this is re, mi, fa, so, la, si, and do again. I suppose you know this?”

“Go on.”

Eren continued his “lecture”, playing some easy songs or just telling the older man how to move the fingers correctly so they won’t tripping over the other. Levi would hum here and there, but he mostly listens. This mere act made Eren beyond happy, he felt like what he said matters and sad to say that not anyone would take a blind teen seriously.

Suddenly there was a tone in the air that Eren was sure he didn’t make that one.

As if reading his mind, Levi said, “That was me.” There were more random notes swirling in the air, freely, inexperience. Do twice, sol twice, la twice―

Mikasa snort was loud, her laugh was even louder. “Who would believe this?!” She cracked.

Eren who was confused with the sudden outburst, turning his head to his right, where he knew Levi sat. “U-um―.”

Levi was still playing his simple version of twinkle-twinkle little star as he grumbled, “Eren,” he said lowly, his tone rich with fury. “Can I kill the girl right there?”

“Um, no?”

“ _Fuck._ ”

* * *

 

“What I do when I’m not playing in the café?”

Levi’s “mhhm” was muffled by the lava cake he currently munching. “I know you walk in the park _a lot,_ go to the music store, and grocery shopping with Carla. But you don’t do that in every single minute of your day; there must be something else you do besides that.”

“Hmmm,” Eren tapped his finger on his chin, thinking about Levi’s explanation. It started to become a routine, after he finished with his “show” he would walked to Levi’s table (which was always the very same one on every weekend) and have some desserts Carla currently got on the shelf. They usually talked about the songs he had played, because Levi was such a hardcore classical music fans. Eren would talk about his week―which wasn’t much. Mikasa or Armin would accompany them sometime and contributed some stories of theirs, so were Grisha and Carla.

Levi would tell him about his trip. But that was all he told Eren. He was older than Eren and also her mom’s partner in business, he prefer tea above all beverages, he loved his place spotless―the man didn’t say it directly, but there was one time when his usual table got coffee stain on it and Eren swore he almost _see_ hell. Eren only knew that much. Every time Eren countered the question with “And how about you,” Levi would just waved it off and say “Meh, nothing much,” before he gave Eren another question.

“Levi,” he called the man after a thought. “Why do you ask so much?”

The evening crowds still buzzed around them, and the click-clack of the spoons made it noisier. Here’s where Eren’s second miracle kicked in: he had a pair of more sensitive ear than other people; someone could put a boom box right next to his ear and he would hear what his chat-mate were saying clearly.

Eren did not hear Levi’s voice right now.

_Shit, I knew that was too rude. It’s just crossed my mind and Mikasa was right when she said my mouth has no filte―_

“Do you not like it?”

The question caught Eren off guard, and his mind went silent. “Not really,” he admitted. Half lie, because he was so happy someone would just sit with him and listen to his nonsense rambling. But saying “are you freaking serious?” would just sounded too ecstatic. “I just realized you don’t talk much about yourself.”

“Why?”

“Uh,” Eren wasn’t sure how he supposed to answer that kind of question. If someone say that you speak too little, isn’t it that they wanted to listen more? “Because here I tell you about my daily life and you just…not?”

There was a beat of pause before Eren could hear Levi’s voice again. “You want to know more about me.” That’s more like a statement than a question.

Eren just shrugged as he scooped a spoonful of Apple tart to his mouth.

Levi only talked to him again after some minutes had passed. Although he didn’t show it, chose to chew his cake so thoroughly it would make his dentist proud, Eren waited nervously. He never felt this anxious really. If he were to meet new person, he usually felt like tired than giddy. Because they would act like he got no limbs attached to him instead of losing only his vision. He still able to eat properly, something that contained liquid like broth was a little tricky, though. He could walk around freely and not knocking a single dust if he familiar with the surrounding. Hell, he talked normally like a normal person could. But they didn’t care. In their eyes, he just a mere invalid and suddenly they felt like they had to treat him gentler. More different.

He needed people who would look at him and said to his face that “you’re not a minor, so tell me why I should treat you differently?”

His mom said he was a keeper. He kept every single person who truly cares about him like a favorite blanket.

His unconscious hoped that Levi was one of them.

“I’m a boring old man, you know.”

Levi didn’t know, the man didn’t have the single idea that his casual, free of concern, was a breather for Eren.

Bit back the smile. Bit back the smile. “I could say the same about me,” Eren said. “In fact, you are older than me and I’m sure you had more experience you can tell this brat.”

“Why are you so curious?”

 _Because if I know more about you, I can ease my mind with the idea of being closer to you._ “Why are you so secretive?”

A long inhale, then a longer exhale. Eren wondered was it Levi’s tooth paste, the minty air feeling blown to his direction.

He heard the sounds of footstep closing on their table direction. The sound stopped exactly on the spot next to Levi’s seat.

“What a pleasure seeing you here, Levi.” The calm, deep voice said. Eren did not recognize it, but he remembered hearing it somewhere.

“Cut the crap, Erwin. We came here together. Where the hell have you been?”

Erwin? Oh right, _Erwin_. He was the man who sometimes accompany Levi to the town. They didn’t talk a lot, but he and Armin did though.

“Likewise.” Erwin laughed. Eren would liked to see his face (as mush as he wanted to see other’s face) when he did, because even his laugh spoke “charming”.

“Hello there, Eren,” Erwin said, Eren could feel the gaze pointed to him right now, not intimidating, just content. He wondered what had happened before the man come.

“Hi, Erwin,” He didn’t hear the sound of the seat being pulled. “Why don’t you seat with us?”

“Sure,” Eren felt the smile in his tone. “Let me just grab those delicious little things on your mom’s cake counter.” The man left with his footstep on his trail.

“Hey, Levi. Is Erwin an entertainer?”

Eren knew his question was a stupid one as Levi choked on his cake. “What on this earth makes you think that way?”

Holding back a blush, Eren shrugged. “He just has this “I’m a man you’d loved to talk to” feeling around him, and I learnt people with a nice laugh has nice personality.”

His explanation left Levi silent for a moment. “You’re pretty good with observation.” An arched brow in the tone.

Eren could feel he was _beaming_ with happiness. That was clearly a compliment and he felt like he just amazed Levi the man didn’t even disguise his praise like he usually did.

He felt so proud of himself he didn’t hear the heavy footstep came back. “Why thank you, Eren. I’m happy to hear that I have a good laugh.”

Eren let out a strained “eek!” and made Erwin laughed his charming tone again. “Do you have cat paws?” Eren demanded.

The sound of foot chair scrapping the floor wood. “Uh, I have normal feet, if that what you asked.”

This earned a snort from Levi. “He thinks that you’re an entertainer?”

“Levi!”

For the second time in the past five minutes, Eren heard the sound of choking, this time from his left side, so he suppose it was Erwin’s. Eren wished the warm feeling on his cheek was not from blushing but because the AC was turned off, which was not.

“Oh, I see,” Erwin coughed, this was clearly the first time the man heard such a statement according him and Eren even _heard_ the blush. “Well, I’m sorry to break it out to you, but I’m not who appears in the TV to entertain others. It usually brings dread to others than smile.”

Eren hadn’t watch TV for sometimes now so he wondered what exactly the program Erwin was in. “Are you a TV anchor?”

Before Eren embarrassed himself even further, Levi cut in. “Eren, Erwin Smith here is a CEO of Trost incorporation. Have you heard about it?”

“Trust?”

“ _Trost_.”

“Uh,” He was wrecking his mind off as he muttered. “No?”

“It’s alright,” Erwin said reassuringly, it reminded Eren to the fatherly way Reiner would speak to him sometimes. “It’s not like the company is that big.”

“Not a big company, you ass. Your corporation can buy the nation in cash if you want to.”

Despite the answer he had said, Erwin didn’t deny the fact Levi had stated. He was being humble if it was anything. And Eren liked people who don’t show off.

“Do you know, Eren? Our Levi here is the second in command in the company we’re currently talking about.”

Without him realizing, Erwin was elegantly switch the topic. But Eren was too surprised to recognize the act.

“You’re an important person, Levi!” He unbelievingly said with a gasp followed.

“You sound surprised,” Levi blandly noted, fake anger clearly in his voice. “You thought Erwin was a famous person. Did I not strike you as a person with a high position as well?”

At that time, Levi said it so childishly Eren laughed. “I’m sorry I’m not sorry.”

Levi tsked and Eren laughed harder.

He asked the men what their company working on and somehow he found it interesting and he asked for more explanation. Erwin sounded happy while explaining to him; sometimes Levi would butt in some information too.

Erwin was telling him about the new plant project when the sound of music filled the air.

“Sorry, it’s me,” Erwin said. Eren didn’t hear anything after that until Erwin said “hello” and Eren realized the music was a ringtone.

And the man indeed only said “hello” because the other person on the phone cut him off so fast and loud Eren could hear it without the speaker mode switched on.

“YOU TWO, HOW COULD YOU LEAVE ME AGAIN?! DO YOU REALLY THINK MY THREAT OF BLOWING YOUR OFFICE IS A JOKE? HEY―!!”

Eren did not hear the continuation because at that time Erwin was get off his chair and scurried away so fast from his ear parameter.

Levi answered the unspoken question on Eren’s tip of tongue. “That’s our crazy friend over there. A veterinarian who forced us to held her close to our hearts. Willingly or not.”

“Oh,” Eren said with concern. “Why Erwin sounds worried?”

“Because she once blew off a bank for a reason you really don’t want know,” Levi replied it, voice thick with seriousness.

“Really?”

“No, idiot. Of course not. I despise risking my life for a crazy scientist.”

Eren was about to retort with some kind of ridiculous names he had in his head but he heard spoon clicking. Levi was finishing off the remnant of his lava cake.

“You’re leaving?” He asked when the sound stopped, forcing the dejected feeling to the back of his mind.

“I suppose that’s our call, so yeah.”

 _But I suppose it’s not_. “But you haven’t told me about you.” Oh my God, did he sound like a pouting child.

There’s no sounds came from Levi direction and Eren unconsciously bit his lower lip and there was a distinct sound of footstep and _a hand on his head, ruffling his hair softly._

“Next time, kid,” Levi said, now stood next to Eren’s chair. He still messing Eren’s hair with the fingers and Eren hoped that Levi didn’t realize he was leaning towards the warmth his palm provided.

“Come again,” he muttered.

He could hear the smile as Levi said “Yeah.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I suppose all of you already know the epic-ly made piano version of granrodeo's can do and guren no yumiya on you tube. It's so epic. Like really epic. omigod.  
> Next update will be out on the next week end. I'm free from uni registration now so I hope I could spend some quality time with this fic.


	5. To Understand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The bosses and the secretaries.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Don't die on me, stay with me," I whisper to my internet connection.  
> Enjoy!

_“Oh, anyway, the book you’ve told me before? Alex just brought it to store yesterday.”_

“Really? That’s great,” Erwin said to his phone’s microphone. “I wonder if anyone is also looking for that book.”

 _“Huh?”_ Armin voice sounded less clear from the speaker, not that Erwin could do something about it. He had proposed using web-cam after he experienced the unsatisfying result of only able to hear the blonde but not seeing him, but the other politely and rather shyly turned down the idea.

_I’m afraid that would prevent me from getting any of my works done, sir. If you don’t mind, can I call you sometimes?_

He couldn’t say he didn’t feel the disappointment he felt that time. It feels like the hold-your-self-back-Smith had gone to waste if he applied it to anything that connected to the teen he was talking to right now. The doubt and the fear of taking risk also became stronger. Don’t get him wrong, being a CEO, Erwin was the man of gamble. But that aspect seemed had done nothing to calm his nerves whenever he try to have a conversation with the younger.

Oh well. He’d just be happy with his own made up implication of Armin’s sentence that if they had a web cam chat…the boy would spent his entire day talking to Erwin and forgot to do anything. Yeah, that’s a happy thought he had there.

_“…sir?”_

He caught himself spacing out and quickly gained his usual self. “I’m sorry,” he said. “What did you say? Do you mind to repeat it?”

He would love to space out more often if that meant he could hear the joyful laugh from the younger he had been fond of since a very long time ago. Of course, the object of affection didn’t realize it fully.

_I somehow understand how Levi felt around Eren all this time. And somehow it was just the same, whether if the other had the past memory or not, the risk it held was the same._

Or maybe they’re both too afraid to ruin it, holding those youngster too close to their heart they tire themselves to keep a respectful distance. He tried to think that this was enough, the conversation they had, the lingering touch Erwin tried to make it looked like accidentally happened, and the smile they offered to each other...he tried to convince himself that those were more than enough.

More than enough to satisfy his hunger.

And he failed miserably.

 _“I was saying I can, um, you know, keep it behind the counter until you come?”_ Armin suggested, the nervousness thick in his voice, and Erwin smiled at the image he had in his head (Erwin, you pervert, Levi in his mind said.) “You know I don’t have to tell everyone that we got a new book, so it’s not like I’m lying or something.”

Erwin laughed, leaning back to his chair. He was in his room in the office right now, and damn if he could not see the hellish mountain of works on his desk, but damn if he’d pass the chance to talk with a particular bookstore part-timer he’d been waiting for his call for awhile now. This was the first time Armin called him first; he would not pass it off for some paperwork.

Levi would surely throw fits if he saw Erwin like this.

“I guess it has the perks of knowing the worker for a long time,” he mused jokingly.

The giggle that came from the speaker was heavenly. _“Long time, huh?”_ His voice was sweet, Erwin was sure he should have cavities by now. _“Sure it is.”_

“Hey,” Erwin said after the giggle subsided. “Do you think you can hold it back until this evening?”

_“Yeah!”_

The enthusiastic was rich and Erwin had to close his eyes tight unless he wanted his mouth to blurted some stupid—cheesy—lines.

“Great,” he replaced the bluetooth device on his ear to more comfortable position. “After that what if—well, what do you think about dinner?”

Armin was saying something, Erwin was certain he heard the “y” in “yes” but the short word got cut by someone he didn’t notice had been standing in front of his table.

 _“Is there someone there?”_ Armin voice ringing from the speaker.

“Yeah, sorry,” Erwin said apologetically. “Talk to you later?”

Armin sigh, a content one, _“Soon.”_

Erwin liked how the word sounded. “Soon,” He agreed. After that he hung up and faced the person, a young woman with a hair bun on top of her head, hands holding a bound of paper. Her eyes shone with curiosity.

“Am I interrupting something?” She asked, a little too happy for someone who just disturbed her superior.

“Rosa, energetic as ever, I see,” Erwin said, plugging out the bluetooth device from his ear and put it on the table. “For what pleasure do I owe this visit?”

In many occasions, and most of it were important ones, his business smile could win over a bunch of contracts and sympathy and hearts, but his secretary was having none of it. The woman maybe young, not even at her late twenties, but she was smart and wickedly dangerous. Erwin couldn’t get his hand on any better secretary.

She still smiled like she didn’t even saw his smile. “Is that date promise I heard?”

The only thing that made her human was her curiosity. She loved to pry to Erwin’s love life—because he rarely had it—it almost made her looked like a gossip journalist. In some aspects she resembled Hanji very much.

“Not a date,” Erwin answer, palms up to receive the documents she handed him.

“So a promise to something,” she concluded.

Erwin chuckled lightly. “You can say it that way.”

Rosa squealed in happiness. “Is she the girl you met when you went to town with Levi, Sir?”

“Yes, I met him there.”

If she noticed that Erwin was implying to a man instead of woman, she didn’t say anything about it. She still looked as if he was a celebrity—well, in some ways, he was—and she had to write something about him.

“Do you like that person, Sir?”

The question caught Erwin of guard, but then again of course she noticed it because Erwin was not a man who makes personal diner schedule to anybody. There must something to it that was special enough for him to ask someone to eat out and everybody knew it.

He answered it without any second thought. He already had that question for eons now and he had the answer for almost all those time. “Yes.”

“But it won’t be a date?”

“He hasn’t realized it yet,” Erwin said, smiling a little. He wasn’t used to it, talking about his love life with his secretary, not ones that he was joking about. It’s not like he had many to be discussed about. “I wanted to take it slow.”

She stared at him for a moment, considerations was clear in her gaze. After a while, she sighed and stated. “Must be hard,” she said. “You yourself are not a very patient person, after all.”

He couldn’t help it. He laughed. Surprised and happy and she just knew him so well, almost like everyone from the past did. “We’re going to meet this evening,” he said, voice raspy because of the laugh. “So I suppose I get my reward.”

“Um, if that the case.” Erwin looked up from the documents he was about to read, to look at his secretary, whose face now was a mix of sympathy and regret. He knew before she said a thing that he wouldn’t make it this evening.

“I think the date would be delayed.”

He despised himself that he was able to predict things better than most of the people on earth.

“..It’s not a date.”

“But it would be delayed.”

A sigh.

* * *

 

_Tell me; what’s the point of being a CEO if Nile still able to get me bound on my office chair? In my OWN office? Really?_

“What is it with him?” Levi stared blankly at the sticky note on the corner of the documents that he just received.

Marco, his freckles secretary, laughed sheepishly. “Um, it seems that Mr. Dok dumped a good load of works on the CEO’s desk this noon,” he explained, hand on the back of his neck, rubbing it nervously as if he were the one who gave it to Erwin. “And the deadlines were not that friendly either.”

Levi played with the bright yellow paper for a second before he stuck it out, crumpling it and threw it away; it went precisely into the trash bin with a soft ‘clang’ sound. As he turned to the stack of papers in front of him, he remembered that Erwin had told him at lunchtime about his diner plan with that boy Arlert tonight.

“Well, isn’t he the unfortunate one,” he mumbled huffed.

**Need a hand, old man? —L**

And send.

“Huh?”

“Nothing,” Levi answered, turning the front page of the report. “Hanji had works today so I guess it’s just me; not that I will have any complain about it.”

“Um, I don’t get it…”

Levi looked up from the report to the tall man and found the genuine confuse written on his freckled face.

“Haven’t you heard?” This office practically housed one eleventh of the recon people, gossip spreads fast, and everyone was excited to visit the town on the next long holiday.

“Heard about what, sir?” Marco asked; he blinked twice, like whenever he didn’t understand something.

“About— hey, when did you come back?” Levi asked, Marco have taken a leave for some days—making Petra in charge for his position, and Levi just saw him yesterday. The worker had to be back earlier than that though, because he still needed to take care of the documents related to his leave and some works Petra left for him.

“Well, the day before yesterday I was in general affair section so I suppose it was Monday?” Marco replied, unsure, and then nodded to himself. “Yes, yes, it was Monday.”

“And no one told you anything,” Levi said, bewildered. There was a time before when a worker from cafeteria had the word “office holiday trip” slipped from her tongue and half an hour later Levi got his department covered in flower crowns and hula skirts, and a big banner with “WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT HAWAII, SIR?” on it. Things got around faster here and Levi highly doubted that no one told his secretary that they finally found the people they thought they wouldn’t meet again.

For the first time in his entire time knowing Marco Bodt, the freckles man looked exasperate. “No, sir, they didn’t. And with all due respect, sir, I also don’t have any idea about “anything” that you are talking about now.”

Or maybe the plan of big conference at the end of the week really blew everyone minds off.

Levi opened his mouth, ready to tell Marco the big news, before he thought of better idea, “Tell me you have the rest of the day free.”

“I have the rest of the day free,” Marco repeated dutifully. His eyes showing the combination of seriousness and puzzlement. After a moment, he added, “Why?”

“Because you’re going to go with me after I got this fucking report done.”

Marco blinked, once, surprised. “Going to where?”

“That’s the surprise, freckles boy,” Levi was almost humming as he scanned the report, “Anyway, how’s your progress doing?”

From his peripheral, he caught Marco’s trade mark sheepish smile. “They say it’s going well, that I don’t have to worry about anything.”

“That’s great,” Levi said, honest. “You’re great, Marco.”

Marco chuckled. “You too, Sir.”

_Well, if only you know that my fucking life is on a boy’s hand._

* * *

 

Nah, I’ll have this cleared by 7. —E

**So that means I can’t borrow the jet? —L**

Is that why you offered me help? —E

**Oops, seems like my cover got blown up. —L**

You can, don’t worry. Tell the pilot to pick me up at 7.30. —E

**Will do. —L**

And, Levi, tell Armin I’m still going to take the book today. —E

* * *

 

“Where are we going, sir?”

The office had tomorrow off and Levi already cleared up his works—unlike some blonde higher ups—so he used the unspoken privilege of being the right hand of the CEO to leave the office earlier, tagging the clueless Marco along the journey.

“What? Your legs can’t take it anymore?”

Today was Thursday, and if they got tomorrow free that meant long holiday from Friday until Sunday. For a business as hectic as their, three days off was as close as the definition of heaven, four was just miracle. But they wouldn’t push it past that. Works always got rough whenever you think it’s easy.

“Um, no,” Marco said from behind him. They were walking along a slope, a couple blocks from Sunshine, but Levi didn’t stop by the café first, instead he walked to a path that leaded to a near hill.

“It’s just that my heart goes weird since we got here.”

Levi tried to not stopping dead tracks and turned to Marco. He hummed a casual “oh yeah?” and kept walking.

Marco didn’t say anything as they house on the sides of the path became wider apart from one another. A breeze came and Levi heard the rustle as Marco tightening his cloak.

“Don’t worry, we’re close,” he said.

“I hope so,” Marco laughed softly, “It’s kind of chilly up here.”

Levi looked around him. From the position they were now, he could see the town better from above. Like he thought, the town was not a big one, but not too small either. It held some kind of homey feeling and treasured warmth inside each building that stood on its ground. The town surrounded by hills and mountains, causing the temperature to be always not warm enough to wear a thin shirt only for outside activities.

He wondered where Eren got his tan skin. The sunshine was too dim to burn a sausage with an aluminum foil.

“Ah, there it is.”

They reached an open area, with only grass and cherry bushes and a very old building on the center. There were two car parked in front of it. They walked closer and saw how the construction stood proudly with two towers on top of it.

“Is it a church?” Marco asked wonderingly.

Walked over to the front door— that was a pair of big wooden door, and said, “Why don’t you check it yourself?”

It was not a church, in fact, it was a museum. Pictures hanged on the wall made from white bricks, the painting of landscapes—the town in years ago, people with their blank expression in oil paint that Levi didn’t recognize, ancient sculptures, an old chandelier on a table.

There weren’t many people in the museum. In the corner, looking at the history board of the town, were an old couple. A middle aged man across from them was looking seriously at one of the painting of a woman. The cleaning man was sweeping the unseen dust on the floor.

And a blind boy stood in front of the biggest painting in the room.

Marco saw him only a second too late after Levi.

“Sir, is that—“

“Eren,” Levi called, walking to the boy, trying to keep his voice even.

From the distance he was now, he could see the boy blinked before he turned to his direction. His arching brows gave away the surprise his green eyes could not deliver. “Levi!” A big smile appeared on the happy face.

“Keep it down, brat,” Levi scolded jokingly, “You just granted a heart attack to the woman over there.”

“I don’t hear any screams so I did not,” Eren said, rolling his eyes before they landed on Levi, missing four inches to the left but he wouldn’t tell the boy that. “What are you doing here? I thought you only come over on weekend?”

If Eren was trying to sound unimpressed, he deserved a D. Again, Levi said nothing about how open the boy was.

“Visiting a museum so I don’t look like some ignorant towards the world heritage.”

Eren wrinkled his nose. “That’s exactly what my history teacher would say.”

“Well, I might copy it right from her.”

“You did not!” Eren laughed. He was laughing for sometime before he turned his head a little and said, “You did not come by yourself, didn’t you, Levi?”

Taken aback by the question, it took a second for Levi to answer. “Well, yeah.” And then, “How do you know?” He looked at Marco, standing two steps behind him, looked as surprised as he was.

Eren was muttering something along “told you I have bat ears” and smile friendly at Marco. “Hey there, I’m sorry I didn’t notice you faster but well, I’m Eren,” He extended his hand, “Would you come closer so I can shake your hand? I’d like to come to you but there are so much expensive things around here I don’t want to risk bumping to them.”

The way he said it was so casual and earnest like normal people would introduce themselves. Levi felt sting at the back of his eyes. When he looked at Marco, the man’s eyes were wet of the unshed tears.

Marco might not be the person who knew Eren for a long time, but between him and Eren, he was the one who held the memories.

Marco stepped closer, cleared his throat and shook Eren’s hand. “Nice to meet you, Eren. I’m Marco,” he paused and Levi knew he did it to give Eren sometime to recognize him as a friend from the past—he had to admit that he did the same thing before. After some second ticked by and Eren’s expression still as same as before, the truth dawned on Marco. He smiled, sadly, “I’m Levi’s secretary.”

“Oh,” Eren blinked. “Does Levi take you with him on his historical tour?”

“Well, kind of,” Marco replied.

“Nah, he’s going to meet his friend.”

Eren and Marco turned to him. Eren with confused expression and Marco with more confused look. Marco opened his mouth to ask him, being clearly uninformed about the situation’s improvisation, at the same time Levi caught a figure of someone walking toward their direction.

_How come they can have the sense to come up at the right timing?_

There was a breathless gasp came from behind him.

“Eren, what happen to don’t move anywhere?” A man, probably in his mid twenties approached them, Eren particularly. He wore a white shirt and jeans. “GUIDE” was printed below his name on the name tag.

Eren, always be the one who didn’t like to be ordered around the most, clicked his tongue impatiently. “I did not move around, you guide-ass. I bet all my fingers on it that I didn’t move even a tile away.”

The young guide sighed, running his hand on his two-toned brown hair. He wasn’t aware that Eren had got extra people with him. “What should I do with your fingers? Put it into soup?”

“Yuck.” Eren made a disgusted face.

“That’s what I thought,” he said. He then turned around, facing Levi now and started to recite something that must be on the protocol book, “I’m sorry for the disturbance, if this shitty teen bumped you, he’s terribly sorry even he does not look like—“

He stopped. And Levi probably would too if he were the guide.

This time Marco was the one who stepped in.

“U-um, Eren didn’t do anything; I was the one who talked to him. S-so,” His voice broke at the end.

The guide looked at him weird, but Marco continued. “I’m Marco,” he stammered. “I know this is strange but—“

“Tell me you have the rest of the day free.”

Marco stared at the guide, wide eye, before let out a teary choked laugh. The tour guide still looked at him. “Why everyone asks me about it?” He said; his voice full of affection. “In fact, I have the rest of my life free.”

He took a step towards the guide.

The guide, whose name was Jean Kirstein.

* * *

 

“How come your secretary knows the museum’s tour guide? And Jean of all people?”

“You sound surprised.”

“I feel sorry for Marco. He sounds like a good person.”

After the reunion—more like Jean flew to Marco’s arm and vice versa, Levi let Marco go with a message of “use your vacation wisely and—Jean, I will castrated you if Marco can’t walk on Monday.” Levi volunteered to take Jean’s position as the guide. Jean was too distracted to say otherwise.

“Well, he is a good person in a way,” Levi said, moving his fingers around so he could hold Eren’s hand in better position. If Jean left with a message, it was to hold Eren’s hand as long as the boy inside the museum. In spite the spacious area, it was too risky to let him use the walking stick. Levi was too excited with the idea of having Eren’s hand in his to refuse it.

Eren was a bit reluctant, though. Maybe letting Jean to grab his hands around the place was humiliating enough, now he was beyond ashamed to let other people do it. Nonetheless, Eren was Eren. He would always be the most stubborn living being on the earth, yes, but distracting him was not the hardest work ever. Levi only said that Jean and Marco were friends and he got Eren complaining about how bad Marco’s choice of friend was. Eren’s fingers tight around his.

“In what way, exactly?” The boy asked.

“Well, for one thing,” Levi glanced at their intertwined hands and smiled before answered, “He guides you.”

Eren scoffed. “He does it because Mom asked him to.”

Levi tilted his head. “Nah, I doubt it.”

Eren muttered something that sounded “You and Marco have weird definition of good people.”

Levi didn’t say anything to that, kept walking near the wall where the paintings were hanged. He was wondering how that Kirstein boy guides Eren around the museum. He couldn’t see, so what was he looking for in the place full of visible thing? It was another case if this was Mozart’s collection museum.

As if reading his mind, Eren said “Stop here, please.”

He did as he asked. They were standing in front of a big painting of a shore; it was nothing but a cloudy beach. The sand was grey, the water was iron colored, and sky was cloudy, and the wave stood high like a shark’s fin.

“Tell me about the painting.”

Levi stared at Eren for a moment, at the same time wondering how the hell the boy could stop exactly in front of a picture and what did he expect Levi to tell him about the most shady painting he ever see in his life?

“This is a beach.”

Well, that’s not entirely a lie. It would be one if he had said “beautiful ocean.”

“Okay?”

“Okay, so,” Levi cleared his throat. He usually would say things bluntly as it was in reality, but the painting we faced right now was beyond pathetic he didn’t have the heart to describe it. “The sun is—“

“There is no sun.”

“How do you know?” Levi gave up, lying was not his forte; it was always Erwin’s.

“Because every single painting in this room did not contain any lights; or that’s what Jean had told me before.” As he said it, Eren looked to the space in front of him, where the painting should be hanged. He looked as if he was truly seeing it and Levi’s heart clenches, knowing that was only his illusion.

Why do you visit such a dark world when yours was an endless rabbit hole? “Why is it?”

Maybe he only imagined it; him squeezing Eren’s hand, and maybe he did it for real, because Eren’s eyes were on him the next second. He was smiling, but it did not reach his eyes, because they could not show anything on it and yet it was so rich with emotions Levi couldn’t recognize it one by one.

It was just the same; he could not understand what the orbs were trying to tell him.

* * *

 

_Losing his vision did not mean also losing the anger issue in Eren’s case._

_If anything, it only made it worse._

_Eren was grieving for his loss, and in that state, angry seemed easier to deal with; more pleasant to feel and less hard work to the heart. Grieving meant blaming yourself, thinking about the past and ends up blame the entire mistake back to you. Angry was far prettier than it._

_Eren felt both at the same time. The effect was disastrous._

_Eren still able to transform to titan, his condition only made other felt more alert. The thing that they didn’t know was that Eren felt the same to his surrounding. The king’s dogs saw him as a threat; Eren saw them in the same way. Erwin spent all his diplomatic skills to convince the higher ups that the recon could keep Eren’s ability under control, It left Levi and the others to convince Eren that he was safe enough with them. The act was not a simple project._

_“Eren, Eren—EREN!” Levi nearly shout as the boy in his hold kept trashing around, his thickly bandage hands in Levi’s tight grip._

_Eren struggled like he did not hear Levi, which was a possibility at the time. Dream was the most usual trigger, and one of the most difficult to deal. They need to wake Eren up to calm him, and his blindness made the process ends longer than normal. Eren kept trying to bite his hand, and so they decided to wrap it up, most of the time Levi would give his hands to Eren to bite out of desperation, feeling Eren’s frustration from the pain on his palm._

_It would ended the black out faster, the exhaustion would lull Eren back to sleep, but if Levi wasn’t careful enough, Eren would notice the damage he’d done to the corporal and he’d blame himself in crueler way than anyone would._

_They were an option to tied Eren’s hands to the bed board, and as much as sweet it sounded Levi object to it strongly. There was no harm done, there was no threat, there was no victim, so why treat a teen like he was the one who caused the apocalypse?_

_“Shh, Sunshine, it’s okay, it’s just a dream.”_

_Eren hated the pet name._ I’m not that bright _, he would say. Nevertheless, he was the brightest candle in Levi’s mind. It sounded extremely cheesy, but he was Levi’s flickering light in the dark, his_ hope _. His something that Levi would strive to keep it._

_Kissing his lips were too risky, Eren could bite his nose off. Kissing the hands was out of option. Kissing the sides of his face were not a good choice, they were too sensitive. So it only left Levi with an option, the forehead. He would whisper-kissing Eren on his forehead until Eren’s ragged breath slowed down, and the limps stopped to moving around._

_“Give me your hands,” Eren said as he calmed down, his voice rough from crying, eyes half-opened. “Please.”_

_Eren’s hands were still wrapped and Levi chose to put his palms on Eren’s cheeks for the boy to feel it. They were calloused from training for years, it wasn’t the problem; Eren was looking for the wetness and stench of blood. The habit he started to do after he found out about the biting for the first time._

_“I’m okay,” Levi said; his face was breath away from Eren’s he could feel the boy’s breath hitched. “Don’t worry about it.”_

_Eren shook his head, brushing his lips to Levi’s palms as he did so, “How could I not?” He said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world._

_Levi was silent, after awhile he pulled Eren’s face close to him and kissed the shut lips, long and tender. It was their unspoken gesture for “I understand” because they both knew it sucks after you hear it over and over. He kissed Eren’s opened eyelids, which meant “sleep.”_

_He fell asleep listening to Eren’s breathing only to be woken up by the urge to use the bathroom. He opened his eyes. The first thing he saw was green jewels staring at him. No. Not staring. Eren’s brows was knitted together, the boy was thinking, hard._

_Levi didn’t move, bladder thrown out of the window. He just looked at Eren’s face. the boy looked confused, and frustrated. Occasionally he would lick his bottom lip and chew it unconsciously. His eyes blank. Both of his still wrapped hands were placed close to Levi’s front shirt, as if they were grasping it._

_Levi did nothing to inform the boy he was awake, that he could talk to him about whatever bothering him. Instead he looked into the eyes, trying to figure out the problem by himself._

_He failed. Levi only then realized that not knowing about other’s thinking could be so frustrating._

* * *

“Because they were fighting.”

Levi did not understand. “What do you mean?”

Eren was not looking at him anymore, instead stared ahead, to the sunless painting. “The paintings are about surviving from something. I’m no really sure _what_ but Jean said it can be anything; battle, sorrow, grief, death, loneliness, anything,” Eren said, “The sun must be in one of the paintings, somewhere we don’t know. But they exist.”

No one allowed being down forever, the light makes sure of that. Levi felt like Eren were saying those things meant for him.

“Are you one of them? The survivor?” He found himself asking.

“I guess?” Eren answered, scratching his cheek with his pointer. “I suppose I am.”

Eren did not know how the simple sentence effect to Levi. Eren did not know how happy and relieved he made Levi. Seeing him now and hearing those words came out from the lips was the things that made Levi thought that everything he’d been trough were worth it. The lives, the reincarnations, the loneliness; if he had known that this day would come.

He thought of Eren in the past, what had been in the boy’s head. He hoped that he had thought the same revelation like Eren in the present.

“Well now you have to admit that Jean does have some good thing in him.”

“I hear that, Levi. And I still won’t think so.”

“You’re having second thought.”

“I am not,” Eren said stubbornly, “How do you know that I’m here?”

Levi was busy tugging Eren’s hand around the gallery to think twice his answer, “Because once you said to me that every Thursday you come visit this museum.”

“…”

“Hey, what are you blushing about?”

“I AM NOT BLUSHING.”

‘Uh huh.”

“Levi, you jerk.”

“Eren, you brat.”

* * *

 

Levi did not know that he would see a painting from the same painter of the shady beach years after.

That time, the painting is about a shiny dandelion field.

It titled “I never know; and yet I’m here.”

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> um, I'm wondering if anyone wants to see what happen with the guide and the secretary after that...


	6. To Touch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pairings in the cars.   
> Old couple banters.  
> And a touchy Eren.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm SO SORRY IT'S SO LATEEEE  
> many things happened i swear  
> I still and never stop hopping for you to enjoy this story

Let him set this straight.

“Ohmygod, Reiner! How long has it been? Last time I saw you it was 40’s—oh, 30’s really? I met Bertl outside just now. He looks happy—well, you look happy.”

He was the definition of the word “attention” in Marco’s dictionary. _Myth._

He wasn’t Marco’s center of the world. Somehow people had been assuming that way from long time ago, even when they were trainees.

No. Everyone—literally _everyone_ , as in a friend from the past until the florist lady across the street—was Marco’s Jean. Well, kinda confusing. But if everyone kept thinking that Jean’s was Marco’s number one. Ding-ding-ding. Then everyone was Jean to Marco.

He cared about any little thing he could stick his nose in. Sometimes it was annoying but mostly not at all, the guy knew what he did too well, even at the same time, he didn’t. And because he honestly cared about them, they would not have the heart to tell the freckles Jesus “fuck off”, well, you certainly couldn’t shoo Jesus away. You knew he was painfully persistent, annoyingly stubborn, but they do it for your own good

“Your father’s inside? Can I meet—Oh, hello Mr. Braun. I’m Marco, Reiner’s old friend. It’s really good to see you.”

Sometimes, or most of his times, he spent all his time mulling over everyone he didn’t have any energy left for himself, or better, Jean.

Second. Marco’s was a super shy, clumsiest person in the world. _Myth_.

“Gosh, that was so fun,” Marco breathed as he sat on Jean’s shot gun.

Jean sat behind the wheel, but didn’t start the engine. He openly starred at Marco, the person who up to three hours ago Jean only dared to dream about.

Marco had his eyes closed tight, brows furrowed in concentration, but his lips smiling. He smiled so big Jean could spot the freckles on his cheeks that caught by the light from outside.

“ _Whoa_ my God,” he kept chanting. The fingers on his lap were fidgeting happily.

Marco was a very expressive person. It was just that he had this extremely super tight filter of consciousness. He was born with the instinct to make sure that people around him happy, live their lives with high self-confidence, have big faith in themselves. Marco believed that in order to do so, he had to be lesser burden to everyone. A way of applying it was to show less emotion. Showed nothing but happy calmness; people would follow.

It literally took Jean hundred of years for Marco to open up to him like this.

“You sounds like my aunt,” Jean said, eyes didn’t leave Marco even a millisecond.

Marco laughed. Jean’s heart did a little twitch, full of happiness and endearment, because even the small noise sounded heavenly to his ears. He wondered if that was good for his health.

It was.

“Do I want to meet her?” Marco asked, throwing him the look of wonder and amazement that made Jean’s voice stuck inside his throat.

_Marco glanced at him between the cheering crowds. 1340._

_Marco punched him on the arm playfully, sheepish grin on the face. 1544._

_Marco looked at the apples because they ran out of it at home. 1786._

He only stared at the freckles man beside him, mind blank, tongue tied. He blinked, trying to register _what did he say?_ and at the same moment thought _oh, right, Aunt Tess, no you don’t want to meet her._ But all he did say was, “I missed you.”

Marco, clearly didn’t expect the sudden blurt, blinked. “Well, I guess we both know how each other feel, then.”

What did I do in the past so I deserve you this way? Jean wanted to ask Marco that. And he had asked the other man that, several times, in fact, several hundred years ago. Marco had said, in one life where Jean had been a soldier and Marco a fruit seller near Jean’s barrack (how cliché), that the only thing that lack from Jean was self-confidence. Jean couldn’t deny it, even now, because he knew he’d done something wrong, and some of it was horribly wrong, _and it made me imperfect._

_But you did many things, Jean. And don’t make me spell it one by one for you._

Why?

_It makes me fall for you over and over again._

Marco didn’t even flinch when Jean reached for him, cradling his face close. The third kiss they shared in this life was not rushed, or hard. It was slow and painfully tender Jean let out a pathetic whimper, Marco shivered.

“YouremindmeofErwin.”

He could feel Marco’s breath on his lips when Marco let out a cute “whuh?”

“You,” Jean tried again, licking his bottom lip and found it tasted like Marco. God if he was standing his knees would give out. Fortunately he was sitting so it was only his brain that gave up on him. “Um, every time I see Erwin on TV, I wonder if you were there.”

“I was,” Marco chuckled, nuzzling his nose with Jean’s lovingly. “Because whenever Erwin’s on air, Levi also gets the spot light, even if he despised it. So I have to be around Erwin in one way or two.”

“Levi, huh,” Jean muttered. He kissed Marco once again before continued. “I can’t believe he would be the red string for us.”

“He went through all of this the hard way, Jean,” Marco said. “Really hard.”

“I know,” Jean said. “Heard from Armin he met Eren just a few weeks ago, of all the time. He only met him just _now_.”

The fact was, he didn’t, not really. Not when he had met Marco for several times, and Levi had none of those encounters. But he did sure it was beyond difficult.

“You think it’s right? Looking for Eren on his own will?” He found himself asking.

It was an unwritten rule between them that they would not meddle in each other life except the fate said otherwise. They always left an option open for _forget the past and be happy_. If the other did not remember, or they did remember but didn’t want to, they would be okay with that. They would not interfere with other’s life unless life itself brought them across one another.

Because now, they had the choices. They more than happy to choose, and beyond elated to accept the opinions.

Because, duh, they kind of experience of having only one choice to choose, life or death, even the other on was as hard as the rest.

“Maybe that’s part of the fate,” Marco wondered aloud. “Searching for Eren, it is. Let them be, Jean.”

Jean was grumbling. “’S not like I planned to ruin them or anything.”

Marco laughed again. “I know, I know,” he said, eyes fluttering softly. “But it’s kind of funny.”

“What is?”

“While we age the same, somehow Eren is the only one who is younger than us,” the secretary said.

Jean glanced at the rear mirror of his car. He had known Marco for too long to ask the man to stop talking about everyone else when they were together. At first, it had been a major turn off. Now, it was just a part of Marco, and Jean accepted every bit of Marco. “Don’t you think Eren is the only one who doesn’t remember also funny?” Jean replied, fingers tangled playfully in Marco’s hair, messing it the way he liked it.

Sighing, Marco muttered, “Maybe that’s part of the gift.”

Jean considered this for a moment. Sure, it would be good if he didn’t remember a thing from his past lives. No nightmares, no yelling at sleep, no ridiculous paranoia. But it also meant no fond memories, no friend from the past, no old jokes, and no Marco either. “I think it’s relative, whether it is a gift or not. I mean, every misery has it own happiness hiding behind it.”

_If I had to go through million nights of nightmare, it will be okay, I have you to lull me back to sleep._

There was no reply for Marco. When Jean looked up to see his face, Marco was starring at him, eyes full of shock.

“What is it?” He asked cautiously.

Marco didn’t blink as he answered. “You’ve a lot become wiser it’s weird, Jean. What Eren in this life have done to you?” He asked with amused tone and Jean swore he saw a gleam in the raven eyes. Marco had always reminded Jean to be civil if he ever seen Eren again in the next life. Now they were friends (but not really) and it seemed to boost Marco’s mood a little too high.

Grumbling, Jean grabbed a hold of Marco’s hair and shook it until Marco’s hair was beyond a mess. “Or maybe it’s you who hang out with the frowning shrimp too much.”

Marco was laughing; eyes hidden behind the close eyelids and his grip on Jean’s wrist never loosen even a little. Jean was glad for that, he never planned to let go Marco either. His shakes had ceased to soft ruffling the time Marco opened his eyes again. The taller man glanced at his hands on Jean’s.

“I missed this,” he murmured softly.

Jean couldn’t help but grin. “Don’t you get bored on me? You know, we’ve met in many lives―”

“―Five times, married in three―”

“―So I often ask myself would you tired of meeting me in one of these lives.”

“Jean.”

“Hm?”

“Do I look like I rather be somewhere else, be with someone else, right now?”

“Well, no, but―”

“You have been hanging around Armin in the past few years, haven’t you?”

“Yes―wait, how do you know that Arm―”

“Because his anxiety is totally rubbing off on you.” Marco completed the sentence, letting go Jean’s wrist just to cup his face, looking right at Jean’s eyes and dived into the back of his mind, where all the doubts lied. “Or maybe it’s just you.” He added after a second. “What on this earth makes you think that way?”

“Because,” Jean pouted. “If we were to accumulate it, the total years of our time together had to beat the Guinness Book of Record of the longest couples in relationship ever. One of us is bound to be bored of another,” he paused, hesitant to continue. He shouldn’t even bring this stupid thing up in the first place. “Or…are we not in relationship right now?”

He only asked it for confirmation. Sometimes you have to check and recheck what you are after not meeting the person for decades.

“We are, Jean. So because you’re not bored of me―I’ll conclude it that way, so _I_ have to be the one who bored of you?” Marco blinked, almost looked like he didn’t believe what Jean had said. “Jean, are you―”

His rant―Jean was fucking sure it would be a rant, a very long one―was stopped by a loud, mechanical tone.

“Wait. Let me check this first.” Marco fished out his phone from his pocked, slide it open and read the message on the screen. It didn’t look like there’s a lot written on it but Marco was silent for a long time. His expression was flat.

“What is it?” Jean asked.

Marco shook his head, putting his phone back to his pocket. “Nothing important,” he shrugged. He was about to continue his disturbed rant session (and Jean prepared his heart for it), before a loud BANG! And CRACK! And SCREECH! Was caught by their ears.

* * *

 

_“Oh my God, tell me my fingers are lying to me, Armin, tell me. YOU CUT YOUR HAIR!”_

_Levi stopped on his track on the doorway to his―and now Eren’s as well―chamber when he heard the boy’s voice. Eren, after Eren’s strong objection and Hanji’s stronger so-called-“suggestion”, was not supposed to be back on duty for the time being. Hanji didn’t exactly tell them_ when _but he was sure it’s not anytime soon. So Eren now mostly spend his time in the bedroom, or sometimes did a night walk with him outside, the time when not many people lurked around the barrack._

_From his point of view, he could see Eren sitting in front of the opened window, letting the summer breeze messing his hair. But the boy didn’t care, he was really into what he got in his hand right now, literally, it was Armin brand new short hair. Levi leaned on the door frame, watching the childhood friends chit chatting with one another._

_“Yeah, it was last minute decision. Squad Leader Hanji accidentally burn a this part of my hair,” he directed Eren’s hand to the side of his head to emphasize his point. “And it actually didn’t look that horrible, really, but then Sasha came with this bowl of cream and things happened, got cream on my head so I just decided to cut it off.”_

_Armin and Mikasa, as expected, was the two of the most frequent visitor. The other trainees also came from time to time, but with all the development happened around them, they suddenly had more works than they actually had hoped for. The surveys, the experiment, the mapping, and all the shit Levi also had to take the part in._

_The most ironic fact in this happy news was, Eren could not._

_So as much as Levi hated having guests in his bedroom, he was actually glad of Armin and Mikasa’s visit. The two had this way so they could deliver all the news around the places without making Eren felt he was left behind, the thing that Levi hadn’t mastered yet. Maybe it’s the way they had known each other for so long, he tried to ease his jealousy._

_Mikasa and Armin had their back facing the door so they didn’t realize Levi was watching them. While Armin was the main updater of the events, Mikasa was more silent. She did not talk much, but her action did the communication. As Armin talked to Eren, she would hum and add one or two things Armin forgot to say. When she didn’t, her hands would crease the wrinkle on Eren’s collar, or adjusting Eren’s messy hair, or simply put a hand on his hand or shoulder without saying anything, like it was the most normal thing to do. Levi would lie if he said he didn’t want to be able to make Eren relaxes with the softest touch like Mikasa could._

_As tired as he was, he’d love to spend more time watching the three, because it meant the longer Eren would smile. The night was young and Levi did not want to spend it with a faking-i-am-okay-so-don’t-worry- Eren._

_Hanji didn’t really think so._

_“Levi, thought you said you were tired,” The doctor chirped, slapping Levi’s already tired back as she did. “I know you secretly watching the rabbits.”_

_Levi grunted, putting a hand on his back where the effect of the slap burned the most._

_“Squad Leader Hanji?” Came Armin’s voice and Levi grunted even more._

_Hanji peeked from Levi’s back to wave at the childhood friends. “Oh hey, fellas. Just wanted to remind you that dinner time is almost over and I’m sure you don’t want to miss the soup. Even if it’s just boiled water and carrot, that is.”_

_“Be there soon, Ma’am,” Mikasa said. She turned to Eren and Levi realized she didn’t even miss a second to slip Eren’s hair behind his ear. “We’re going first, okay?”_

_“Yeah,” Eren sighed. He was smiling wide but his shoulder slumped a little. He didn’t say he would join them later because they knew he wouldn’t. Armin squeezed his shoulder encouragingly before exiting the room, sparring Levi a salute and a nod for Hanji. Mikasa close behind him, glancing at Levi as she passed him by. Despite the lack of expression, Levi knew by the frown between her eyebrows and the twitch on the corner of her eyes that she was saying “thank you”. So he closed his eyes before opening them again._

_You’re welcome._

_When Levi entered the room Hanji was already stood in front of Eren, handling him a couple of pills. She was talking as Eren swallowed the white little things with a glass of water Hanji brought with her, “So I decrease the doses a little so it won’t strain the nerves too much, if later you feel itches on the tip of your finger let it be, ask Levi to bring you cold water and dip the itching area into it, it’s suppose to be a part of the effect.”_

_Levi watched as the two of them talking. If there was a thing to make Eren calmer at night it was sleeping pills. It was not common, and naturally not recommended in military because it dulled your senses, plus Eren apparently a little too immune with normal doses of anesthetic so Hanji has been formulating with the chemicals that wouldn’t do harm to his still healing body but would put him into a soft, comfy rest._

_After she was sure Eren understood the entire thing she had say she turned to Levi and Levi nod, letting her knew he also did. Levi was the only person who stayed with Eren at night, he made sure he knew all the medical protocol if anything unwanted happened more than anyone._

_Eren was still sitting on the same chair when Hanji closed the door behind her, leaving only him and Levi in the room._

_“How was your day?” Eren asked._

_Levi was opening their cupboard’s door to find some thin shirt to sleep on. “Tiring,” he answered. “Yours?”_

_“Boring,” Eren said with a shrug. “But Mikasa and Armin came by so it’s not really boring.”_

_Levi hummed, taking of his belt when he heard Eren’s voice again. “What do you think? About Armin’s hair? I can’t believe he cut it! I mean I can’t even imagine that hair anywhere near scissor and_ he actually―”

_Eren kept talking about this unimaginable hair his friend had got for himself and Levi didn’t have the slightest intention to stop it. He only answered when Eren stopped to ask for his opinion._

_“Looks refreshing, and less crybaby aura on his part.” He walked to where Eren sat. He closed the window behind him before turned to the boy._

_“He’s not a crybaby,” Eren retorted. “Just a bit overly emotional here and there, um.”_

_“Whatever, he’s still a genius crybaby in my eyes,” Levi said. He bent down and scooped Eren to his arms before walking to their bed. Eren hated to be babied, he made sure Levi learned it the hard way. But if Levi did it the right way, Eren let him spoil him rotten._

_“Corporal,” Eren called him as he lowered the boy on the bed._

_“Hm?”_

_“What do you look like right now?”_

_Levi looked at his lover, watching the way he chewed his lips when he was nervous and the way his eyes looked at nothing at particular at one spot. “Why the sudden question?”_

_“I would never know that Armin cut his hair if he had not told me earlier,” he confessed. “From now on, I can’t notice any physical change of everyone around me, and it includes you.”_

_And it’s kind of lonely, so ease my worry._

_Levi reached Eren’s hand and kissed the knuckles one by one, after that the wrist, finally the finger tips. “Does it itch?”_

_“Not yet, I think.”_

_He kissed the palm, burying his senses in Eren’s smell. “Good; I don’t really appreciate cold hands touching me.”_

_Eren looked confuse. “Corporal?”_

_Levi maneuvered the hand in his to his face, feeling the rough tips on his skin. “Touch, Eren,” he whispered, because they were far too close to talk with normal volume. “Feel, and remember, because there is nothing on me―about me―that’s going to change. But if you want it, touch me, and find it yourself.”_

_That night, Eren fell asleep with his hands cupping Levi’s face._

* * *

BANG!

“Levi, tell me you did not just kill someone.”

CRACK!

“Shit. I might just kill your trash can.”

SREECH!

“Oh my, mom will kill you.”

“I’m sure she will,” Levi pulled at the hand brake before turning to the boy next to him. “And it will be, definitely and entirely, your fault.”

If those eyes could portray emotions, Levi was sure he would see shock in them. “I don’t know that you’re ticklish!” He said in defense.

“I’m not tick―,” He stopped, took an inhale, and exhaled it. “What were you trying to do?”

Sitting on the shot gun, Eren looked guilty. They were in the car that Levi just rent near the museum, and he was driving Eren to Sunshine, when suddenly cold fingers brushed the skin behind his ear. Levi would not admit that he did jump, steer wheel had long forgotten.

“Well, I was thinking about what you look like, actually,” he said, eyes turning away from Levi.

As much as it made Levi’s heart flipped, he successfully set his priority. “You should have fucking asked,” Levi said. “If I didn’t hit the brake fast enough―”

“I _know_ ,” Eren cut him off, and Levi’s eyes twitched from how much determination the boys could muster in one short sentence. “ But I have this feeling that you would answer it with…shit, I don’t even know your hair color.”

“It’s black,” Levi added without thinking. “And there’s nothing necessary you should know about my appearance.”

“I knew you’re going to say that,” he pouted. “It still necessary for me, you know.”

“How’s so?”                                                                                                                                                           

“Because I hate that every time I talked to you, I only have this vague, blurry image of you on the back of my mind. It’s like talking to a grey, faceless doll. It’s fucking creepy.” At the end of his sentence, Eren made a frowning face.

Levi…was surprise he knew how that feels. He remembered talking to the phone with some business partner he had never met before, wondering what his talking partner looked like from his voice only. It was fine with him, and most of the time he guessed it right. But it was still a shot in the dark.

What he didn’t know was how it felt to be in the dark for too long.

“Do you touch every single person you know?” Levi asked; half curiosity and the rest was jealousy.

Eren looked constipated somehow. “Um, no,” he replied. “Just the people who are close enough to me.”

Close. But not close enough like Levi wanted.

“Stop touching me without asking first,” he said. “I’ll jump.”

“Nothing’s wrong with jumping. Everyone jumps. You said that.”

Levi rolled his eyes in desperation. This kid knew nothing.

 _I’ll jump_ at _you, idiot._

“So, can I touch you?”

Levi did expect Eren blunt question, he really did, but it didn’t help when his body exhale every bit of air in his lungs at the question. His brain told him a capital and repeated version of NO, but his heart screamed a ringing, loud YES. He found himself wheezing an “okay”.

“Okay,” Eren said.

Levi took a deep breath. “Okay.”

“Okay.”

“Eren―”

“I know, I know,” The boy said, shuffling on his seat so he was facing Levi. “Um, don’t move.”

“I don’t even blink,” Levi grunted. He didn’t lie, not when Eren was _this_ close to me and definitely not when the boy was about to touch him.

Touch, Levi, not _touch_.

Eren was facing him and Levi noticed how his green eyes were looking not really at him, a couple inches higher than they should be. With his pointer and thumb he gripped the boy’s chin and directed it to the right angle.

“Um.”

“I’m not short, teens today are just too fucking tall for their age,” he pointed out, pulling away a second too long.

Eren grinned. “I see.”

“Oi, what are you grinning like an idiot about? Get on it or I might change my mind.”

“I’m on it, I’m on it. Geez,” Eren was grumbling as he reached out. Levi watched the long fingers came closer and closer to his face and―

“Shit your fingers are so fucking cold.”

“S-sorry.”

The fingers retreated. For a weird reason Levi felt colder than when the fingers are on him.

“Did I say you have to stop?”

Cold, long fingers are on him again as fast as it backed off. They traced from his cheek, then his eyelids, to his jaw, and swept his bangs away from his forehead, and the back of his head.

“Under cut,” Eren murmured in hushed tone, arms almost circling Levi’s neck while his fingers travel along the cut line. “Black, undercut.”

Levi didn’t say anything, but his eyes twitched here and there whenever he felt a brush of cold on his skin. He tried to ignore it, thinking about anything else, which apparently a failing mission because he was surrounded by _Eren_. Honestly, was beyond surprise he could hang on up until now.

Or not.

A brush of cold on a point on his nape, and Levi gave up. “Eren,” he said.

“I’m done, don’t worry.” Suddenly Eren’s smell was gone and Levi opened his eyes he didn’t remember he had closed it.

He was about to say something when Eren spoke again. “You said we’re outside the café, yeah?”

Levi, confused, managed to reply it with a soft “yeah.”

“Cool, and thanks for the ride, by the way, I can manage it from here. You should park the car in front of the café. I remember this street is not that big. Well.” He didn’t even realize Eren already got his walking stick on his hand and opened the door’s car. He magically reached the back door without even a slight bump with the surrounding.

The kid was rushing, right?

Why he was rushing?

Levi was left speechless, looking at the closed door.

* * *

 

“I don’t think this is a good idea, Jean.”

 _Beep_.

“Shut up, Marc―”

“ _Marco?”_

“Sorry, ‘s not Marco. It’s Jean.”

_“Of fucking course you are.”_

“Okay, let’s cut it to the point. What were you doing to Eren?”

“What. _What?”_

“Come _on_. We saw you in the car and―”

_“You saw me?”_

Someone muttered a “shit” next to him and the next second he didn’t have a phone on his ear anymore.

“What the―Marco!”

“Jeaaaaan.”

“Eren was _beet red_ when he got out the car! Something must’ve happened in there!”

“Jean.”

“Maybe Eren’s legal but that’s not mean that man can―”

“Jean.”

“The hell with fate and past lives―”

“Jean, stop acting like Eren’s big brother.”

“I’m not!”

“God. Levi’s going to kill you. He’s going to kill you so bad no he knows that he had been behind his car the _whole_ time.”

“It was unintentional. We’re here first!”

“Doesn’t change a thing.”

“What about you?”

“He still needs me at the office so probably he won’t.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ....um, so how was it?  
>  I personally think that brother Eren and Jean are cute so I tried to write them on.   
> What do you think?


End file.
